Lucille Esterhazy

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From Paris To London

"Ah, mon ami," said the French bird to the London taxi driver.

"Darling, I'm all yours," said the cabbie, thus giving the lie to the suggestion that his fraternity are inclined to be a bit boorish.

“I am to go to Bayswater,” she said.

“Jump in, doll,” said the cabbie.

“First,” said LUCILLE ESTERHAZY, who had come over from Paris to live in London, "here is my big bag and my small bag, also my portmanteau please to put them in the taxi for me.' The cabbie nearly did his coconut at this, but Lucille with her green eyes and her French mini took him out of his turmoil with the sweetest smile, and off they went to Bayswater with the taxi piled like a pantechnicon. And when he was unloading his cab, he ventured a chivalrous proposition.

“Like me to show you the town one night, Fifi?”

“How gallant,” said Lucille, “but I am not Fifi, I am incognito.”

“Incog who?”

“It means I remain not at home to strange men,” said Lucille.

“I'm not strange, I'm Harry,” said the enthusiastic cabbie.

‘So? Ah, we have met only to part,” said Lucille. “Au revoir, Arry.” “So long, doll,” said Harry, who knew when to remain inscrutable. Still, she did wave him goodbye.

Lucille works as a receptionist in London and is having a lovely time, thank you.

Span No 200 - April 1971

Jennifer Taylor

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Please, Teacher

When you're a student you rely an awful lot on your teacher, and when JENNIFER TAYLOR was in the sixth all the boys in her class couldn't help noticing that all the male teachers were ever so dedicated to their vocation.

They all paid so much attention to Jennifer's reliance on their professional assistance.

She only had to say, "Please teacher," and one of them was there jogging her elbow and helping her phenomenally with her French verbs.

The other students said it was sheer favouritism.

“I heard you say that, Smith,” called the science master, "but what would you do in my place ?"

"I'd jog her elbow too," said Smith.

"Cheeky," said Jennifer.

This is how Jennifer looked when she was a student doing her homework. It was all like giddy St. Trinian's style then. Oh, happy days.

Span No 198 - February 1971

Gina

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She’s a Witch

Girl with a wizard figure who is building quite a reputation in London’s Chelsea as a witch is dark and delectable Gina.

One thing's for sure: she has a strange power over men. They tell their wives "I'm just popping out for a spell" and rush straight to Gina. But (whisper it) she failed the QT Editor's test. He wanted her to magic up more girls with her measurements. Well, maybe she didn't wand competition!

QT No 91 - 1964

Sandra Marsh

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Measure For Measure

Whichever way round you look at it, that tape measure says that SANDRA MARSH of Bristol takes a 39 bra.

That makes Sandra's overall vitalistics tape up to 39"-24"-37" and if that isn't a perfect overall measurement for an itsy-bitsy bikini, our opinion isn't worth an empty coconut and we won't venture to give it in future. Sandra is a salesgirl, her hobby is photographic modelling, she's a pop fan and makes a fascinating companion for a mountain climb.

We can't climb a mountain without falling off, which is why Sandra would be the only fascinating thing about it.

Beautiful Britons No 168 - November 1969

Molly Peters

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Leading Lady

She was dancing in the hay. She led with her left foot and followed with her right while the left was still up in the air. "I might have known," said MOLLY PETERS, stage and screen star, "anybody might have known. If both legs are in the air at the same time, gravitation will have its inevitable effect on you, and like me you'll end up flat on your back. By the way, I hope you like my boots. I bought them in Mayfair."

They look lovely. Don't get up. Just keep waving them about.

Beautiful Britons No 155 - October 1968

Caroline Campbell

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Who’d Prefer an Aspidistra?

Who’d Prefer an Aspidistra?

Well, which would you prefer in the bay window an aspidistra or CAROLINE CAMPBELL?

If anyone should say aspidistra it might make our question worthwhile but who'd seriously credit the answer?

Span No 60 - August 1959

Susan Douglas

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Shades of Sophia

Remember Sophia Loren in the film The Millionairess? How she looked in her black lingerie and wide brimmed hat? Well, SUSAN DOUGLAS may be in white instead of black, but would you say we were uncommonly biased if we said Susan looks just as good? After all, as one pink elephant said to another pink elephant, "Hello, good-looking."

Span No 128 - July 1964

Helga Sommerfeld

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The Things We Do For Art

Art who? Art Kimble, affectionately known to his intimates as Goof. A great friend of ours, and we'd do anything for him except lend him a fiver. He's got enough of his own. But we're off course, Goof has nothing to do with this. We should have said cinematic art. Lovely HELGA SOMMERFELD German star, is rehearsing a scene where she's strapped to the revolving target while some incomprehensible cad throws knives all round her. We wouldn't do that for any art, there are some incomprehensible cads who can't throw accurately at a static target, let alone a moving one.

Beautiful Britons No 106 - August 1964

Marilyn Ward

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Do Belt Up

Having worn tights for several years, beauty queen MARILYN WARD didn't quite know how to cope with all the straps and clips of a suspender belt, and the whole thing seemed to be all loose ends.

Well, everyone had been saying that nylons were coming back, and Marilyn didn't want to be left out, like. And she didn't want to be beaten. She got the belt all fixed up in the end and when it all came undone again at the first deep breath, she took she wasn't half ratty.

Still, it was all a bit of a giggle, really.

Spick & Span Extra No 55 - Summer 1975