Mrs Smith

/

More from the fabulous Mrs Smith

Maggie McCully

/

Maggie

“Have you dropped her down a mineshaft?’’ A question, that, which is typical of many we’ve had thrown at us in connection with MAGGIE McCULLY. Although we’ve never said so, we now admit that we do indeed make a habit of dropping all Maggies down mineshafts. Girls like to go a long way in this modern world, particularly if they are beautiful, like Maggie McCully, and we’re sure the way from the top to a bottom of a mineshaft is very long indeed.

“No, seriously, you don’t mean all that jazz." Listen, Buster, there’s no jazz about it. Ask Maggie.

"All right. Did you get dropped down a mineshaft, Maggie?"

“But of course.”

“What on earth was it like?”

“Narrow. I was scraped all the way from top to bottom.”

Good old Maggie.

Carole Gaye

/

Who Was Meant For You?

“I didn't think anyone special was meant for me,” said Orace, “me being nothing special myself, I was just going to settle for Mavis.”

"But Mavis can't even cook," said Dilly.

"That's what I mean," said Orace, "I didn't think I was entitled to make stipulations. Me mother said Mavis would do fine, she said I never knew what I was eating, so what did it matter about whether me bride could cook or not?"

"Still," said Dilly, "you're not all that negative. Look how you fell off the bus that time without breaking your leg.

"True," said Orace, "I was only conked senseless. Anyway, then me Uncle Percival sent me a photograph of CAROLE GAYE. She's a pop singer, y'know."

"Smashing," said Dilly.

"Me Uncle Percival said think big, think ambitious. He said forget Mavis, some village idiot is bound to make her happy one day. So, I'm thinking real ambitious. I'm going to court Miss Gaye."

"You'll be lucky," said Dilly, "she's got a six-foot boyfriend."

Beautiful Britons No 155 - October 1968

Jo Ritchie

/

Waiting for Winter

Looking very photogenic by her fireside is Hampshire girl JO RITCHIE.

Jo, who works in an office in Bournemouth, is staking her claim to the warmest spot on the rug while she waits for winter.

One thing that's nice about winter is a long cosy evening by the fireside with a good book or a thriller on the telly.

One thing that's even nicer is Jo.

Beautiful Britons No 182 - January 1971

Anita St George

/

Anthropology Must Have Charm

University student ANITA ST.GEORGE has brains as well as beauty. Since it isn't difficult for us to show you just how beautiful she is, it's only fair to give you a written description of her brains. Otherwise, she'll think - and so will you - that we only care about her looks.

Anita has the keenest brains you could wish for in any girl. She passed her entrance exams standing on her head, as it were. And just to convince you we're not fooling; we must point out that at university Anita's main subject is anthropology.

Anthropology, of course, is the scientific study of homo sapiens. All a of us. A more involved and a more difficult subject than the human race has still to be invented.

It's always sounded like something only Freud could find truly fascinating, but it must have charm to fascinate a girl like Anita. We've sent her an extremely well written note asking her to come up and study us over a pot of China tea. Her conclusions may be somewhat shattering but it's one way of enjoying her company and appreciating her intellect.

Spick No 210 - May 1971

Ruth Cavendish and Anne Scott

/

Anyone Seen a Horse

RUTH CAVENDISH and ANNE SCOTT have nothing against cars except the fact that they're full of things like distributors, plugs, tappets, cylinders and knocks. When they broke down on their way to Edinburgh, that was it no more cars. The girls sat down and waited for a spare gee-gee to happen along.

Not only do Ruth and Anne not believe in leaving a broken-down car to thumb lifts in vehicles even more likely to break down, they are by nature much more addicted to the faithfulness of horses than to the mechanics of motoring.

And horses know, you know. These two do, anyway. Robert and Wallace. Just the hint of a pretty girl stranded by a blown gasket and there they are, the noble nags, to take the weight off their sweet feet. And the fact is, friends, Wallace has an eye for a pretty knee and no error.

Carlene Thomson

/

There's Always Tomorrow

The ambition of CARLENE THOMSON is to win the football pools and travel around in her own private plane.

Carlene knows it might not happen today.

But there's always tomorrow or the day after.

In the meantime, Carlene works away as a secretary and models in her spare time. This doesn't help her to build up a bank account because she's so mad about clothes she spends all she earns on them. But it does help her to look lovely on weekdays and absolutely smashing at weekends.

Spick No 211 - June 1971

Jackie Burdette

/

Jackie's In Town

"Where are you going to, my pretty maid?"

"I'm not going anywhere," said JACKIE BURDETTE, "I've only just arrived. Are you a policeman?"

“As a matter of fact, no. I'm"

“Then if you're not a policeman, take your foot out of my doorway."

"I'm selling ceiling sweepers”.

"Who wants ceiling sweepers?" said Jackie. "I don't. I'm a shirt designer and you've interrupted me in the middle of the most inspiring design I've ever thought up. What's that little stepladder you're carrying?”

"Ah well, you see, with our ceiling sweepers we offer these mini step ladders at the most fantastically ludicrous price. Practically giveaway, in fact. I say, you're not making tea, I suppose?"

"No. I’m not said Jackie. "What's the connection between ridiculous little stepladders and ceiling sweepers?"

"Well, you need the stepladder to reach the ceiling. We design them specially to give that extra bewitching look to girls using the ceiling sweepers in mini-skirts."

"These boots I'm wearing," said Jackie, "are specially made to assist the precipitate departure of men selling ceiling sweepers”.

"Don't do anything hasty I'll come back tomorrow."

Spick No 179 - October 1968