Anticipating the early arrival of spring, JENNIFER APRIL ANN TAYLOR went looking for a lamb.
The farmer's creaking old shepherd went looking for his rum flask. He was once a sailor, but he still left things lying about.
Jennifer didn't find any lambs; it was a bit too early.
The old shepherd didn't find his rum flask, either, but he found Jennifer. They came face to face in a misty meadow.
"Great cucumbers,'" said the old shepherd, "who needs rum, me beauty?"
“Good grief," said Jennifer, breaking into a fast trot, "who needs help? I do."
But as she leapt the gate the old shepherd lurched into it, and she was saved by the bong. He didn't come to until Jennifer was safely home and eating shepherd's pie.
Beautiful Britons No 207 - February 1973