Wanda Liddell

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There Was This Ringing In His Ears

The gas man came to call.

Afterwards he wished he hadn't.

The dolly who rented the apartment was sensational. So much so that she hurt his eyes and the only way he could get rid of the agony was to put his head in the gas oven and look for a leak.

While he was trying to get himself all oblivious in this way, the utterly sensational dolly, WANDA LIDDELL, made a phone call. The gas man didn't participate in the ensuing phone chat at all, but there was this ringing in his ears all the time.

When he got back to the gas works he told the foreman not to send him there any more, it hurt too much. The intrigued foreman went round to see for himself.

Wanda, a green-eyed London bird, answered the door and immediately there was this ringing in the foreman's ears. His leg hurt too. Wanda had closed the door on it. She can recognise a foreman when she sees one.

Vicki Ashley

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Coming Your Way

Coming Your Way, Cobbers

For some time now VICKI ASHLEY has been awaiting her emigration papers. She applied to go to Australia and by now should be on her way.

We thought we'd let you know, cobbers. There must be quite a few Down Under who don't want to miss her. These pictures of Vicki were taken in the autumn and we don't honestly think she'll have changed much by the time she lands in all that sunshine. There may be quite a few others who'll land with her, so just for the record she'll be the brown-eyed one measuring 37-23-36. But don't start checking up with your tape measure or big as you are you'll get socked.

Vicki was a manicurist before she became a model, so if any Aussie wants his nails trimmed and his cuticles looking nice, Vicki's your girl. Only bow from the waist down first as she likes all fellers to be gentlemen. Don't try throwing her over your horse and galloping off to the outback with her. She'll conk you silly with a collapsible hammer she carries.

Herta Michaelides

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On Stage

On Stage, Luv

It was ever so friendly when HERTA MICHAELIDES from Cyprus appeared for her first part on the London stage.

She was waiting with nervous trepidation for the curtain to go up, and then this friendly voice called, "On stage, luv." Herta liked that. In Cyprus and Greece, they use a different expression, one which roughly translated means, "Come on, get a Grecian move on."

Herta has spent most of her nineteen years in Cyprus, where she was born of an English mother and a Greek father. Now she is in London, living in Pimlico with her English husband and working in the theatre. She's hoping for utterly dramatic things to happen, although she's willing to wait a while to appear with the great Olivier.

She's nice, is Herta.

Diana Reed

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We Never Had A Lodger Like This

We’ve had lodgers we didn’t even know about until they started leaving notes complaining about the motor in the fridge, and we’ve had lodgers whom we’ve had to way lay on the stairs and speak sternly to about getting their hair cut.

We’ve never had a lodger like DIANA REED. We suppose we must have done something that made us undeserving of same. Diana has a cute apartment in London, and with her experience of interior decorating her own flair here is for the unconventional contemporary (whatever that is)—she naturally keeps the whole thing looking dizzy.

Diana also likes cultivating rare potted plants and keeps tropical fish.

Some of the lodgers we’ve had would have eaten both.

Just a lot of dull, dim savages, mate?

Jenny Piper

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Glamour In The Country

While we're on the subject of glamorous wives, here's one who lives in the country.

She's JENNY PIPER, a golden blonde.

Jenny had quite a career going when she was a bachelor girl. She gave it all up to settle down in a country cottage when she got married, and the fortunate feller who married her made a lovely speech all about how paradise had arrived.

Well, what with roses round the door and Jenny around the kitchen, you couldn't call it anything -else but paradise. It's the sort of thing that makes the cynics go off their own egos.

Barbara Schwarz

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Come Home All Is Forgiven

It was four o'clock on a Saturday afternoon when Gus left home. He left a note to say he'd gone to the Lake District. It was there, he said, that he'd first seen BARBARA SCHWARZ, who'd come over from the Continent to see Lake Windermere and had stayed to become an au pair girl there.

Gus's father said Gus could stew in his own juice. He'd never met Barbara himself and thought she was like the rest of Gus's dream girls— undistinguished.

Then Gus sent home a picture postcard of Barbara. Mother said, "Oh, my word." Father said, ' Crikey.” He sent a telegram to Gus. "Come home—all is forgiven Stop bring her with you.”

Gus wrote back and said he would if he could, but that Barbara hadn't even noticed him yet. Please send a fiver.

Continental au pair girls make dreamy picture postcards.

Any girl anywhere couldn't look dreamier than Barbara looks here. Want to bet?

Sally McGregor (Angela Perkins)

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Siamese Look

Ornamental cat charm is personified in this elongated statue of a Siamese puss.

The lady in the picture is SALLY McGREGOR.

She's a sweet puss herself. It’s probably true that most women are purringly feline, and Sally says no one would purr more than she would if she could slip into a mink coat.

What about scratching?

"Certainly,” said Sally, "I'll do your back if you'll do mine." Purr, purr.

Nina Wartenburg

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A Call For Willi

Some privileged guy called Willi Fritz, we think, is on the receiving end of this phone call from NINA WARTENBURG, blonde Berlin secretary who's wearing the boots to keep her toes warm.

We hope Willi is sufficiently appreciative of how attractive his caller is, even if Nina is only ringing to tell him to send over a small joint of Dutch veal. In fact, we hope any butcher's boy appreciates a pretty secretary as much as he does a young calf.

Crystal Farmer

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Crystal Clear

As sparkling as clear champagne is CRYSTAL FARMER, secretary and glamour girl.

It's a pity fellers can't win beautiful brides like Crystal in a decent competition, where if you can think of a suitable slogan for hot chestnuts, and send it in with three coupons, you stand a fair chance of winning.

Of course, you can't put birds in a lottery, it would send Women's Libbers raving bonkers— and cross as well—but if you could and if you did, who'd bother about football pools?

No one, if they stood a chance of winning a bride as gorgeously set-up as our Crystal.

Vicky Landau

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Just a Memory

When she left Hamburg some time ago to come to England, VICKY LANDAU thought well, it won't be long before I'm back, there's my dog Rupert and Willi Albrecht from the shipping company, they're both lovely.

But now Rupert the dog and Willi the shipper are both just a memory. Vicky is still here, established in a cosy flat in London and earning her keep by lucrative modelling jobs.

"Naturally," said Vicky in her fluent native tongue to Nigel Merry-weather in a London pub, "I shall go back one day, probably when I've made my fortune."

"Could you speak in English,” said Nigel, "as I only speak German like an incoherent Italian in a wine barrel."

"Oops, you are so funny," said Vicky.

"Actually," said Nigel, "I'm dead serious, you're the most devastating bird I've ever met, and I tell you frankly. I've got designs on you. Have two more double Scotches,"

"I think," said Vicky, "that you are trying to get me drunk.”

"I'll be truthful," said Nigel, "I'm that kind of rotter."

"Englishmen," murmured Vicky, "are fascinating but much too naughty," And she poured her drink down his shirt front and then conked him with a German candlestick she always carries in her handbag.

Christine Frances

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Fun in the Country

There was another girl who got caught up in the lure of the great outdoors, and this one was a Manchester

bird, CHRISTINE FRANCES."I like it," she said.

"It?" said the nut behind the camera.

"The countryside," she said, "you can revel around much more than in a city. I mean, in a city there are all those people."

"So?"

"Well, they look,” said Christine, "and you can't revel around and show your legs without some guy wanting to carry you off to make his Christmas."

"When I've finished," said the camera nut, "I'm going to carry you off, and it won't be anything to do with Christmas."

"Listen, darling,” said Christine, "I eat nuts like you with one bite."

Leila Schell

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Lovely Anywhere

This could be anywhere, it could be in front of a door in a house in Boston, or outside a door in a house in Manchester, although it’s possible the discerning types would all be able to pinpoint the exact location from the knowledge they could draw from the copper pan above the door.

Any precise information would be received with courtesy rather than with relief as we admit to not being bothered about the location. What we do know is that the lady is LEILA SCHELL, who is French and must be adjudged lovely anywhere. And she couldn’t look more French than she does here, could she? Unless she hadn’t gone blonde.

Leila is an up-and-coming star of the Continental stage and films, so if you’re fond of Continental films and don’t get confused by all that dubbing, look out for her at the local Bijou.

Dawn Grayson

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You’ve Gone a Little Mad

There’s so much that’s crazy in today’s fashions for the girl who wants to be gear or groovy, that you can’t blame any girl who goes a little mad in trying to keep up with the unconventional. Which is why DAWN GRAYSON is currently sporting a trend-setting garment of the I920’s— well, she says that’s about when she heard they were last worn.

Imagine it, forty years in a museum and they’re still as good as new.

Christel Birkholz

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Call of the Wild

THERE are some people who like the comfort and security of an armchair better than anything else. The only thing that gets them out of it is the chime of the ice cream van or the coo-hoo of the blonde who wants to share it. If Sir Francis Drake or Christopher Columbus had been like that, nobody would have gone anywhere and the Red Indians would still be undiscovered.

That might have saved Tarnation Jake from being scalped, but Jake being what he was it was the best thing that could have happened to him. To him the call of the wild meant getting there first and keeping it all to himself. Ornery old coot. After he lost all his hair it hurt him too much to keep his hat on and he got sunstroke. Poor old guy.

Nice to know the sense of adventure actuates CHR1STEL BIRKHOLZ, otherwise we wouldn’t see her in the great outdoors looking like an intrepid explorer’s beautiful dream. Intrepid explorers don’t only dream about hidden cities and odd-looking aborigines. They have moments when they’re just like the rest of us.

Christel, when she isn’t responding to the call of the wild and getting lost, is a West Berlin fashion model.

Wake up, Charlie, here comes the lollipop man. Go and get two orange-flavoured ones.

Mary Maxted (Mary Millington)

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Call for Mary

Where's Mary?" asked the hall porter of the posh hotel.

"Who’s Mary?" said the new manager.

"She's our receptionist," said the porter. He was talking about MARY MAXTED, a lovely London dolly who works behind the reception desk at this hotel.

"Gad, is that Mary? I thought she was Miss Blackpool," said the manager, "she's got the looks for it. Well, when she re-appears ask her to come to my office. I want to discuss interior decorations with her."

Everyone's like that about Mary. They all want her individual attention. Well, it's about the most normal reaction going.