Elenor Noyes

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Sunshine Trip

Looking forward to an early spring trip to the sunshine of the Canaries is ELEANOR NOYES.

Looking forward to seeing her arrive are the masculine bravos, and it won't be their fault if Eleanor doesn't enjoy herself. The trouble is, said Eleanor, they're so enthusiastic about blondes and what can you do with twelve escorts every time you venture out?

Try pushing them off the edge of the swimming pool, love.

Spick & Span Extra No 50 - Spring 1974

Sandra Marsh

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Modern Arcadia

Old Arcadia was a kind of rustic paradise full of nymphs and shepherds and curly white sheep. There was laughter and song and the chuckle of the winding stream.

Modern Arcadia is any rural retreat where you can see lovely dollies like SANDRA MARSH. There don't have to be any curly white sheep or winding streams. Just Sandra.

Sandra is a Bristol girl, she's dreamy, she’s Arcadian.

Beautiful Britons No 203 - October 1972

Annette French

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Bide a Wee While

As soon as ANNETTE FRENCH saw us trailing our camera equipment over the hill, she had a feeling it was time to get up and go. Indicating, however, that we had gone three days without water and that we’d appreciate it if she could stick around and take the top off her flask of coffee for us, we managed to get her to bide a wee while on our behalf.

If only we could speak English with an Ayrshire accent, we might have persuaded Annette to bide a bit longer, but once we’d finished her coffee Annette went off to a teashop to enjoy some buttered toast and a pot for one. Still, we managed to get a few pictures between gulps of coffee and here they are, and if you don’t think Annette looks prettier than ever you need something a lot stronger than either coffee or tea.

Spick & Span Extra No 12 - Autumn 1964

Janette Goodman

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Out And About

If that means hiking through the Ayrshire heather with JANETTE GOODMAN, of grousing on the glorious twelfth with Sir Cholley Bentchops, we’ll go along with the ramble. We may not be raving mad about footslogging but we are about Janette.

Janette, girl with the legs you can’t help noticing is just the type to leg it with all the way to John o’ Groats.

Spick Extra - Spring 1961

Heidi Sepan

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Calling Heidi

In her London flat, HEIDI SEPAN was waiting for a phone call from her home town in West Germany.

Well, tinkle tinkle went the phone and when Heidi picked it up it was the man from the dry cleaners. He was on about a coat that was all over coffee stains. Heidi didn’t know what he was talking about. She hadn’t left any coat at the dry cleaners and she hadn’t spilt coffee over anything in years. So, she threw him off the line and waited again.

At this particular time Heidi had been in London since last year. She’d been an au pair girl and a secretary and now she was waiting for her call from home.

Well, tinkle tinkle went the phone and when Heidi picked it up again, that talkative nut from the dry cleaners was there once more, begging her to come in and confer with him over the coffee stains.

It was most exasperating and when finally, Willi from home did get through all he could get out of Heidi was confused chatter about a dry-cleaning man who didn’t know what to do with a coffee-stained coat.

It left Willi feeling that Heidi was getting as eccentric as the English. Actually, Heidi is very sweet and not a bit eccentric.

Beautiful Britons No 163 - June 69

Teri Martine and Michele Martin

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Double Knockout

The nice thing about being on the receiving end of a double knockout, said Fred, is that you don't feel any pain, only a sense of floating around on clouds of cotton-wool.

Moreover, said Fred, you don’t have to climb into a boxing ring for it. It's not that kind of a knockout.

It's all to do with the effects of instantaneous infatuation with a double image, and it could happen to anybody at any time.

Take my case, said Fred. I popped into the launderette with me blankets and pink pyjamas and there they were, both of them. Great chestnut conkers, they was dynamic. There was one who was a gorgeous blonde and one who was a limpid brunette.

Limpid ?

Sure, said Fred, she had eyes like sweet sherry. I thought, well here goes. I’ll chat ’em up while their smalls is cooking. So I introduced meself and gave ’em me card and told ’em when I was free. They was sensational. And all agog like, as I reeled off all the facts about personal accident insurance. I told ’em you never knew when you might break a leg. And then they picked me up, and said, " On your way, grandad,” and slung me out.

Me blankets and pink pyjamas followed.

The gorgeous blonde was TERI MARTINE and the limpid brunette was MICHELE MARTIN, and they both know how to get rid of talkative insurance men.

Span No 180 - August 69

Jackie West

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Any One For Karate?

Lots of girls go in for cooking and needlework. A few more go in for ski-ing and a very exclusive minority go in for piloting planes. Most men don't like girls to go in for anything that will distract them from eventually becoming beautiful and domesticated.

Look out for JACKIE WEST.

This lovely young lady is beautiful and domesticated all right, but one of her ambitions is to become a karate expert.

She's taking lessons right now.

Who’s she after? Nobody in particular. She just wants to work up to the thrilling stage of crumbling a brick wall with a dexterous swipe of her index finger.

All this emancipation of women is fine enough in some respects, but if it’s eventually going to mean they’ll be able to sling us over the garden fence with a mere twitch of the wrist, someone ought to stop it before it gets out of hand.

Spick No 172 - March 68

Susan Ashford

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Pressing Biz

No, it isn’t Monday night—it’s Friday and SUSAN ASHFORD has a date she simply must press on with.
Susan wasn’t quite sure on her last date if he appreciated her comments on his striped tie. She certainly didn’t appreciate what he said about her hair-do. So tonight, Susan is going to iron it out with him. Good luck.

Beautiful Britons - No 105 July 1964

Lynn Palmer

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Let's Get Away From It All

"What's that?" said Nigel.

"Let's get away from it all," said lovely LYNN PALMER.

"Where to?" said Nigel, who had Blackpool in mind.

"I rather fancy an island in the Pacific," said Lynn, "and I could wear a grass skirt and flowers."

Well, Nigel knew a grass skirt and flowers would be out of place in Blackpool, but a Pacific island seemed such a long way.

"How about the Isle of Wight ?" he said.

Lynn pushed him into a pothole. A pothole is the only place for a feller who doesn't want to get away from it all.

Spick & Span Extra No 50 - Spring 1974

Jenny Spencer

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The Day The Tree Fell Down

It was an ash tree.

It had been standing there for hundreds of years, greenly complacent in the summer, brownly monarchial in the winter., it hadn’t seen anything or experienced anything to upset it in any way.

And then along came lovely, luscious JENNY SPENCER.

The ash tree was shaken right down to its roots.

It quivered. It swayed.

It fell down.

Not surprising, really, Jenny is a young dress designer who has such an impact on people that all kinds of fellers fall flat on their face as soon as they see her.

What do they fall for? Honey-blonde hair, hazel eyes, lovely legs and a figure of 37-21-35.

Spick & Span Extra No 33 - Winter 1969

Paula Page

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But Can She Cook?

That’s something like asking Margot Fonteyn if she can sing— because naturally it doesn’t matter, if you see what we mean. A girl like PAULA PAGE doesn’t really have to cook, because when this gorgeous blonde’s around only a moron would have his mind on food.

But if you’re a hungry statistician, just focus on Paula’s 40"-26"-36".

Or if you really are a moron, you’ll be pleased to know that Paula can poach a very tasty egg. She also makes marvellous coffee.

Forgetting food, how many ways are there of inhabiting a settee without failing off?

That question has got Paula a little worried, particularly as right now she’s hovering on the brink. Oh, what a fall when those curves hit the floor!.

Span Extra - Spring 1959

Judie Jayson

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Our Judie

Brunette pin-up JUDIE JAYSON has done so much modelling for us that we’ve almost acquired proprietary rights in her services as a glamour model. That suits us fine, for there’s no one who brightens up the place more than our Judie.

Bikini-style poses bring out the best in Judie, particularly those curves

It’s the look of things which count so much these days. Shoppers, for instance, will nearly always buy the product which comes in the gayest packet. Impresarios will nearly always choose the girl who’s got that extra gay something in appearance, and that's where Judie scores over rivals who forget to take the curlers out of their hair. Everything about our Judie is always trim and just right. Which makes Judie just right herself.

Spick Extra - Spring 1961

Susan McKay

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Caught Out

It wasn’t like being caught in the pantry with the jam cover off. It was just being caught by the camera when she was out. Hairdresser SUSAN McKAY is so often out it was inevitable.

Susan thinks it's a pity she can’t sometimes be alone when she’s out, but it would be a crying shame to us if there were no opportunities at all for pushing our camera at her through the hedges.

Swelp the barmaid’s bustle, as they say, what kind of great outdoors would it be if you could only photograph corn, gates, bullrushes and cowslips' How about it if you couldn’t once focus on a pretty hairdresser? You might just as well climb a high house and fall off the roof.

“Yes,” said Susan, “why don’t you?”

Spick & Span Extra No 5 - Winter 1962