Patricia Charles

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Groovy Housewife

People who prefer bedding down under the railway arches or rusticating in Bloomsbury turn their noses up at suburban dwellers.

However, that doesn't make suburban dwellers less photogenic than freak-outs, and here's a housewife from the southern suburbs of London to prove it.

PATRICIA CHARLES is no humdrum cabbage, she's cute, vital and groovy.

To start with her measurements, add up to 36-23-36 and that's lovely and vital. And if any non-conforming freak-out can look as photogenic as this when answering the phone, we've been scandalously misinformed by all the relevant media.

Crystal Farmer

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Puss In Boots

If you saw CRYSTAL FARMER go by in her lace-up boots you'd think she was better than a Christmas pantomime.

Crystal was out in the country on this occasion and country boys were doing a lot of goggling. Most of the really dynamic birds inhabit the towns these days and country boys feel a bit deprived. Once upon a time they had rosy-cheeked milkmaids to chat up over the churns, but now the cows are all plugged in to vibrating electricity. Next it'll all be done by computers, and if the cows kick and the nuts and bolts go flying, serve the boffins right.

Crystal likes the country. She's one of nature's birds. Make a lovely milkmaid, she would.

"Oh, those good old days," said Clara.

Who's Clara?

Just a nostalgic cow we know.

Judi Batty

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Brevity

The beauty of many things is in their brevity, like wit and April showers. And like the mini, especially the mini worn by Kent girl JUDI BATTY.

One thing the mini has done for sure is to convince us that British girls have lovely legs and if they ever try to cover them up again, well organise a protest march that’ll stretch from here to Blackpool Tower.

Erica Mannheim

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Bavarian Bird

Bavaria is where the Alps rear their soaring heads of ice-cold blue and sparkling white.

The girls who live in the mountain villages have a fair and entrancing beauty that induces the most dedicated mountain climbers to spend only a fraction of time scaling the impossible heights. It's sort of more engaging to stay down in the villages and chat up the fair maidens.

A very fair and entrancing maiden is ERICA MANNHEIM, representative in this day and age of all that is delicious about the dolly birds of Bavaria. She's not just a pretty face and a cooker of apple strudel, she's been in films and danced in the capitals of Europe.

When she was at college, Erika wanted to be an air hostess, but an agent changed her mind for her. She took a film test and stayed on the ground.

Lovely.

Anna Clare (Diane Clarke)

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Something Missing?

Yes, something has gone astray. It's only a skirt. There was very little of it, just a brief mini.

Even so, ANNA CLARE did miss it. This Middlesex girl didn't feel she could catch her country bus home unless she found it. People would look. Be surprising if they didn't.

Anyway, Anna looked quite delightful as she moved around the woods in search of her skirt. She found it up a tree in the end.

Tina Reynolds

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Gamesmanship

We're not sure if that's the right word to use where TINA REYNOLDS is concerned.

What about girlsmanship? Or gamesgirlship?

We'll ask the Libbers, they can only chuck a loaded milk churn at us.

But the fact is, Tina's an absolute wizard at badminton and table tennis. You want to see her move. Well, you don't, really. That's the trouble.

When you're watching her moving you forget what else is happening and before you can say, "Never mind about the game, what about you and me going to Frascati's for a candlelit supper?" the shuttlecock has plonked itself in your eye.

That's gamesmanship right enough. Getting you to watch her instead of the shuttlecock so that she can beat the living daylights out of you.

Never mind, it's a blissful way to go.

Jennie Jones

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Our Miss Jones

Making a name for herself in the glamour girl orbit is JENNIE JONES, who lives south of the river in London and is contriving, merely by looking her naturally delicious self, to have even the most sophisticated photographers breathe deeply.

Steamed-up view-finders result.

Jennie is eighteen and has the immaculate look of a girl who has attended a modelling school and listened diligently to the principal. She moves with petite grace and her make-up is perfect.

She likes horse-riding. Watch out for her in Hyde Park, cantering down Rotten Row. The name of her horse is Pegasus.

Greta Berry

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How's Your Filing System?

If you're suffering from a surfeit of monumental ineptitude on the part of the erk who looks after your filing system, try giving him or her a monumental talking to.

It probably won't do any good as he or she is almost certain to be only there for the money. It's better to make a clean break before the whole office assumes the look of a paper mill in eruption.

"That's it, then, Perkins my girl, you can take a week's notice from today".

"Oh sir, but why?"

"Because you're useless, girl, useless."

"What d’you want for twelve pounds a week, then, a computer?"

It's shriekingly unbearable when they're not only useless but saucy as well. Your best bet is to look around for someone like GRETA BERRY. Greta is a lovely office clerk who brings efficiency to the scene, to say nothing of charm. She's a twenty-year-old dolly with the longest, loveliest legs that get her around the office like a flowing dream.

Annette Carter (Crystal Farmer)

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My Word

The man with the rent book looked up as the door opened and tenant ANNETTE CARTER appeared.

“My word” said the fascinated rent collector.

“Oh, help” blushed Annette, a secretary and a doll.

"What a charming hat," said he.

"I thought you were Christabel," gasped Annette, "I'm not dressed to receive anyone else." And she retreated rapidly, trying to hide herself behind the curtain, but it was much too short.

"I'll come back later, shall I?" said the rent collector.

"Well, don't let's argue about it," said Annette, looking delicious in the palest pink knicks, "that would suit me fine."

And when he came back later, she pushed the rent under the door and he didn't even get another look at her hat.

Dianne Lloyd

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Country Style

If you live in the country, as DIANNE LLOYD does, you have to have a country style. Which means that you have your own way of climbing gates and fences.

Town birds wait for someone to come along and open a locked gate, or they give up and go home. Dianne scales a gate with verve and lovely legs, and for the information of those who didn't pay attention in school, verve means a spot of dashing elan.

Dianne, a secretary, lives near the New Forest. That's where Rufus, son of William the Conqueror was accidentally killed while hunting, and a stone marks the spot. Dianne herself nearly got bagged by a deerstalker once. She interrupted his apologies by asking him how on earth he could mistake her for a deer.

"As a matter of fact," he said, "you look an absolute darling. Could we have tea together?"

Those deerstalkers need watching all the time.

Second-Hand Sales

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Mixed Second-Hand Sales

I have numerous odd books and items that I have acquired as part of other collections These are things that I don’t collect, don’t need or have multiple copies of. I will offer these up for sale on this page. Most of these books are in good to very good condition, but please make sure you check any additional notes and information about how I like to grade books.

Mixed Second-Hand

Nicola Taylor

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Latest On The Loveliest

Men walk around in dizzy circles when they see NICOLA TAYLOR in her yellow bikini on Bournemouth beach. This isn't just because there is so much more of glamorous Nicola than there is of the bikini, it's also because Nicola is simply and undeniably magnetic.

Her fans consider that as a pin-up she is indubitably the loveliest.

So, here are the latest pics of the loveliest.

Nicola on the phone is a knockout. Which means, of course, that the feller on the other end of the line is next door to unconscious and would be completely kaput if he could see her as well as hear her.

Nicola likes surfing, sports cars and keeping the furniture highly polished. She has a flair for making everything around the house look as if it's just left the showroom.

Mary Collins

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Your Kind Of Daily

There's a lot to be said for one of those splendidly reliable dailies who pops into char around the flat for you and make it nice for you to come home to.

This kind of daily - motherly, warmhearted and a miraculous disposer of fag-ends, beer cans and old socks - is an asset no bachelor of any standing should be without.

Generally speaking, however, the kind of daily you all secretly yearn for outside the utilitarian world of domestic help, is someone like MARY COLLINS.

That's Mary in the centre of the trio. She's just been declared the winner of the competition run by the Daily Girl Club in West Berlin. The Daily Dollies of this club equate with Bunnies.

The competition was to find the most attractive Miss Bosom. And Mary, an eighteen-year-old London lovely, was declared that much in front of all other contestants. How nice to come home to.

Vicky Durrant

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V For Vicky

A bunch of eggheads gathered for an intellectual protest march in the center of London. It was something to do with demanding free French literature. Well, everyone else seemed to be wanting something for nothing, and the eggheads weren't too intellectual to miss the bandwagon.

Then VICKY DURRANT walked by in her boots and her mini.

The eggheads dumped their banners into the arms of the bystanders and found a new cause. Vicky for Prime Minister. They had new banners made, emblazoned with 'V for Vicky'.

Vicky emigrated to the Isle of Wight for a fortnight. She didn't want to be Prime Minister. Who does?

Well, there's You Know Who.