Carla Minelli
/Eyeful From Italy
One can come across the most delightful ornaments in the most unlikely places. For instance, who’d think of seeing a delightful eyeful from Italy in Harrogate?
Man from Harrogate. “What’s wrong with Harrogate, then?”
It’s lovely in Harrogate. One just doesn’t expect to see an Italian girl there, that’s all.
Man from Harrogate. “Why? They don’t speak Italian in Brighton either, do they?”
Never mind. Accept our apologies. The fact is CARLA MINELLI from Naples now lives in Harrogate, Yorkshire. She actually finds the cool climate of England bracing and invigorating, she loves going dancing with English boys, and all she really misses is Italian food and wine. She’s extremely shapely, with vitalistics of 40"-26"-38", and says she’s simply got to cut down on Harrogate fish and chips.
Please don’t, Carla.
Ann Grainger
/Sitting Around
Lots of people, especially old Herringbone, just make the place a shambles when they sit around. They're all feet and cigarette smoke. Ma Herringbone, who can stand smoke but hates feet, spends most of her time bashing his boots with her broom.
What a difference when ANN GRAINGER is the sitter. Bet you never have anything as ornamental as Ann on your carpet, and all those who would like to swap their model train sets for her are over-rating their trains something shocking.
Ann, well-known in her hometown for her trim figure and shapely legs and her volunteer work for old folk, is a very engaging Scottish housewife with the softest of accents. Sitting around she makes the prettiest picture of any domestic scene.
Pinky Sands
/Treed
That reminds me, said Parsons during the directors’ lunch break, did I ever tell you about the time I went on a tiger hunt? I was after a fireside rug for Emily, she’d been nagging me about it ever since
Mrs. Gonk next door had knitted herself one. Well, there I was in the jungle with elephants all round me waiting to charge me and squash me flat as soon as I showed the top of my topee. The gun I had could lay a tiger flat but not an elephant, so what did I do? I popped up from the jungle grass like a champagne cork, and a big elephant on my right and a bigger one on my left immediately charged. Just as they reached me I sidestepped, the lumbering brutes met head-on and conked themselves stupid. Aroused by the noise, up trotted a tiger to sniff at me while I stood there all numb and hysterical. Would you believe it, just as the tiger was about to bite me in half a lady tiger whistled, the man tiger turned its head and I clouted it with all I’d got. Emily was ever so pleased. I don’t know what PINKY SANDS is doing up that tree, by the way. She looks absolutely ravishing, but it’s no way to catch a tiger and make a rug.
Mary Connor
/Porterhouse, Please
For the guys who don’t think they’ve had a meal unless there’s been a steak on the plate we recommend eating at a high-class restaurant in London. With any luck you’ll find yourself being waited on by MARY CONNOR. When Mary isn’t serving porter house steaks she’s taking long walks in the country. Any guy want to go in training?
Annette Ridgeway Le Greasley
/Dreamboats Are Sailing In
Here, look where you’re putting your oar, Monty, that’s twice you’ve clouted me in me delicate earhole. You got something on your mind or something?
I say, who’s that, then? Here, don’t fall overboard yet, let’s get the perishing yacht moored first. I want to coincide with that dreamboat sailing in. Kindly give me all the necessary biographical jazz so that I don’t operate as a dead loss.
That’s it, then. Hand me all me spanking nautical impedimenta, Monty, I’m about to become an infatuated landlubber but I don’t want to look like one. Hand me also one adjustable spanner with which I may helpfully approach this incomparable dreamboat who is, I observe, having a mint of trouble with her automobile. Right, Monty, here we go then. Eh?
Oggle, oggle, oggle.
You—oggle—incompetent offspring of a Tibetan yak, where’d you put the -oggle oggle—gangplank?
Name of dreamboat - ANNETTE RIDGEWAY LE GREASLEY. Age - twenty years and delightfully shipshape. Lovely fore and aft and particularly when the sun’s shining. Dimpled, curvy, elegant.
Catherine McDonald, Dolly Read and Sharon Bysouth
/London Bunnies
In Edwardian days clubs used to be quiet havens where you could read your Times and forget all the complications attendant on your relationship with Edwardian women, who were always on about the necessity of getting you to church.
London club life has brightened up considerably since then. True, in many of them women are now accepted, which results in your complications always being with you, but you can’t have everything. In the Playboy Club of London all the femininity which so lights up the eyes of tired business tycoons is vested in the Bunnies, without whom life can never again be complete. Graceful, curvy, talented, intelligent, the Bunnies have reduced even further the number of men who think there’s nothing to compare with a good book.
Even old and reactionary baronets with club gout are beginning to think that a quiet two hours with the Times could be improved upon, but the first letter asking the editor to publish pin-ups has yet to appear.
Example of a graceful curvy, talented and intelligent Bunny is CATHERINE McDONALD DOLLY READ, and SHARON BYSOUTH
Jane Paul
/Nice To Home To
Married men will know how nice it is to come home to a cosy house and a chicken dinner and all that heartwarming dessert. One day some fortunate guy is going to come home to JANE PAUL, and for the first ten years he won’t care if he’s got chicken or a Danish open sandwich for dinner. He’ll just settle for the heart-warming dessert.
Tracey Collins
/Now That Winters Here
Well, it is getting a bit parky first thing in the mornings, isn’t it? So, what’s a girl to do except to make sure she keeps warm as she hurries for her train to town?
TRACEY COLLINS makes sure by going into her winter Long Johns, and warmer than that you won’t get unless you wear a rug. Who wants to run for a train in a rug? Who could?
Marie Graham
/Bournemouth Girl
So popular has MARIE GRAHAM become lately as one of our exclusive pin-up girls that she's right in the forefront of the glamour stakes, as it were.
Give us more of Marie. That's the heart- appealing cry we constantly hear. We can't help being utterly responsive because we're a bit far gone on Marie ourselves. She's just ever so delicious, like.
She's a Bournemouth girl, a secretary and a swinger.
She likes long boots, micro-minis and old- fashioned suspenders.
"Well, what was good enough for my Auntie Mayflower is good enough for me." she said.
What a funny name for an auntie. Mayflower. Why is she such a good example?
"She was in the Wrens," said Marie, "and looked lovely in her sailor hat."
Well, there must be a connotation somewhere.
Susan Douglas
/Very Fitting
Very frustrating indeed, as well as cosy and cute, are the long johns worn by SUSAN DOUGLAS.
Nicola Taylor
/For The Enthusiast
A pin-up enthusiast is someone who takes his pin-ups seriously and pastes them all very carefully in a large album. Ordinary men take them out to wine and dine and send them flowers.
For the enthusiast, pin-up pictures of NICOLA TAYLOR are a must, and here is Nicola looking so delightful that any enthusiast would want to paste her in his album.
Julie Lane
/Boy Meets Girl
Well, there was this fabulously scintillating bird in the Berkeley-Square discotheque, and there was this shy but handsome six-footer from Palmers Green. The name of the lovely dolly was JULIE LANE, and the name of the handsome hunk was Edwin, and he was so taken with her that despite his embarrassing lack of confidence he had to introduce himself and find out if she was infatuated with him.
Then up came a reasonably-built guy, about five feet seven, and poked Edwin in the eye. Boy, it seemed, had already met girl, and Edwin was so obviously de trop that he went straight home to auntie. Julie, a lovely London model, was quite tickled. A girl likes to feel fellers can get emotional about her.
Cherry Lennox
/This Is So Silly
It’s regrettable to turn up at the wrong party and unfortunate if you kiss the wrong girl, but these things do happen and all you need to lightly pass them off is the right amount of aplomb. Aplomb is the ability to laugh lightly as the muscular bloke punches a hole in your head after catching you pinching his heart’s desire in a crowded discotheque. Then there’s that feeling of something quite silly happening to you as when you lean gracefully on the mantelpiece and the whole thing, including the marble clock, crashes into the fireplace.
Or like CHERRY LENNOX, university student, you can be strolling through the rural scene with your mind concentrating hard on your economics paper, and something really silly happens.
“Well, I mean,’’ said Cherry, “I wasn’t even doing anything and then swish, this twiggy thing sprang out and tried to use my skirt as an umbrella and it wasn’t even raining.”
“I didn’t know what to say except ‘oops’. I just felt silly. I mean, supposing it had been on the campus? I don’t know what I’d have done for aplomb, it’s not one of my subjects.”
“I fell over a skipping-rope once, but this is just too silly.”