Pinky Sands

Treed

That reminds me, said Parsons during the directors’ lunch break, did I ever tell you about the time I went on a tiger hunt? I was after a fireside rug for Emily, she’d been nagging me about it ever since

Mrs. Gonk next door had knitted herself one. Well, there I was in the jungle with elephants all round me waiting to charge me and squash me flat as soon as I showed the top of my topee. The gun I had could lay a tiger flat but not an elephant, so what did I do? I popped up from the jungle grass like a champagne cork, and a big elephant on my right and a bigger one on my left immediately charged. Just as they reached me I sidestepped, the lumbering brutes met head-on and conked themselves stupid. Aroused by the noise, up trotted a tiger to sniff at me while I stood there all numb and hysterical. Would you believe it, just as the tiger was about to bite me in half a lady tiger whistled, the man tiger turned its head and I clouted it with all I’d got. Emily was ever so pleased. I don’t know what PINKY SANDS is doing up that tree, by the way. She looks absolutely ravishing, but it’s no way to catch a tiger and make a rug.