Zee Dorcas

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What a Shower!

There's so much sea around at Brighton that typist ZEE DORCAS can plunge about in the waves almost any time she likes.

Usually she wears a bikini. It was an accident when she plunged in wearing a dress and etcetera’s. She fell over the side of her rowing-boat. The salt water left her all sticky, so she dashed home and went straight under the shower.

What a shower. The best she'd ever had freshened her up in no time and took all the salt out of her undies.

“Well” she said demurely, "it was either the shower or the washing machine, and I didn't fancy being chucked all over the place by the spin dryer."

Deborah Stephens

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Seven-Minute Itch

There was nothing but sunshine and perfect peace around when DEBORAH STEPHENS first sat down to her picnic. They say that after seven years even the best of husbands (or wives) are inclined to get an itch, but only seven short minutes had gone by on this occasion when an itch attacked our Debbie.

She’d just got herself comfortably settled on her tummy— without lying on the strawberry jam sandwiches—when she found herself idly scratching her leg. Debbie has a very nice leg, but she doesn’t often also have an itch.

Initially, let’s face it, she wasn’t all that bothered. She was, in fact, scratching her leg fairly absent-mindedly, until quite suddenly the cause of the itch actually bit her.

“Help!” yelled Debbie. “It’s ants with long fangs!”

No help in the form of, say, an anteater being around at the time, Debbie panicked and dived headfirst under the picnic tablecloth, where she waved two shapely legs very wildly in the air—until a sense of dignity overcame a sense of flustered retreat. Whereupon Debbie sat up. Who won the day, Debbie or the ants?

“I won,” said Debbie, “I’m sitting on them, and if every ant isn’t as flat as a pancake then my eight stone two pounds counts for absolutely nothing.”

Susan Douglas

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Boots for Susan

You can’t beat a pair of thigh-length boots if you want to be looked at this year. They’re in, you know. SUSAN DOUGLAS had to have a pair and be as swinging as the other girls. You can have a hat or a jerkin or a bolero top, but you’re not swinging unless you’ve got boots as well.

Smashing.

Viki Hill

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Viki

Living on the north side of London is a blonde dolly called VIKI HILL. Viki adores really geary clothes, like long leather boots, slinky nylons and eye-catching suspenders.

Other girls may go for draggy skirts reaching the ground and no make-up except lamp-black, but Viki likes to make the most of her shapely legs and her healthy figure.

What's a healthy figure?

Oh, something that measures up to 36-23-36.

To me, said Fred, that's cuddly.

Well, what's healthier than a cuddle?

Ann Jameson

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Mini Motif

Paris may have decreed that hemlines will become longer and longer, but gay leggy girls like ANN JAMESON, London fashion model, are going to fight that decree on a blow-by-blow basis.

The first blow Ann struck was to turn out in her itsy-bitsy mini, which was just about the briefest in town.

It was so brief that Mr. Jarvis Parkinson thought she was wearing a long-sleeved blouse and had forgotten her skirt. With the faintest tinge of embarrassment, he drew Ann aside and said. "Er-pardon me, Miss er-urn-’’

"I'm not Miss Er-Um," said Ann, “I'm Miss Jameson."

"Well-um-pardon me. Miss Jameson, but I wondered-er-if you knew-well, um-the fact is- “

"You’re very kind," said Ann. "but what I don't know I don’t worry about. Ignorance is sweet bliss, isn’t it?"

“Your wonderful, “said Mr Parkinson, “and I just hate having to leave you. but I’ve got a train to catch."

Beautiful Britons No 167 – October 1967

Barbara Valentin

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Continental Chat

One way of spending a couple of chatty Hours with your girlfriend is to ring her up and let her pursue her natural talent for making a phone conversation last all day.

It’s even more like that on the Continent. The Continentals being naturally loquacious it’s asking for trouble to phone them when you’re in a hurry.

There was that nice feller Arnold, whose speciality was buying old electric kettles from gullible housewives and turning them into steam irons for the price of a new tweed suit. They never worked, of course, but he had such a way with him that no housewife ever complained. Anyway, he met an absolutely beautiful damsel called BARBARA VALENTIN when he was on the Continent.

When he got back to London he rang her up to ask her if he could see her in Cannes later that year. After listening to her answer, which was all in lovely lilting Latin and took two hours to deliver, Arnold managed to get a word in.

“What was that you said?” he asked numbly.

“Oui,” replied Barbara, and then in fascinating English she added, “And please, zat steam kettle you sell me, it do not work, no, never, it only spits hot water at me.”

“Oh?” said Arnold embarrassedly.

“Please,” said Barbara, “you send me back my money or I knock your big head off and queeck.”

Shirley Campbell

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Pressing Business

It’s Friday night and SHIRLEY CAMPBELL has got a date and it’s just occurred to her what a giggle it all is. Well, there she is engaged in the pressing business of ironing her smalls and there he is, already waiting on the corner and wondering what’s keeping her. Shirley’s giggling at the idea of inviting him up to help her out with the ironing.

The trouble is when you’re in a hurry everything goes wrong, and those collapsible ironing tables are all too collapsible, and then the phone rings, and the doorbell buzzes and you can’t get your foot out of the under-structure. Never mind, the girls of Glasgow always come up smiling, even under circumstances like these, and Shirley is no less a typical Glaswegian than all the other cute lasses.

Sue Halsey

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Have You Seen Our Park?

It’s worth a look, and so is SUE HALSEY.

Of course, not everybody gets the grand tour conducted by Sue. Not everybody’s that lucky. And those whom Sue has shown around have usually been unable to remember a thing about the Park. They’ve been too busy looking at Sue.

They’ve been too busy remembering how pretty Sue looked perched on that park bench. You too?

Janet Cooke

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Hi, Cheeky

Looking just a little bit cheeky is Hampshire girl JANET COOKE. Janet works in Bournemouth but is hoping to become a photographic model. She has a very trim and fashionable figure measuring 35-22-34, chestnut-gold hair and blue eyes.

Photographers, please note.

Brenda North

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In Mod Mood

Girl who belongs to the modern way of life is BRENDA NORTH, although you can see she likes communing with countryside as well as getting into the groove on the dance floor.

Brenda is slim, lively and likes to go, go, go, and if she looks a little dreamy when she’s out-of-doors, well, the girls in the mod mood today are dreamy, aren’t they?

Jane Paul

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The Midi for Jane

Things haven't been going quite as exhilaratingly for JANE PAUL as she’d have liked over the last few years.

The fact is, Jane is a soccer fan and a supporter of Glasgow Rangers. And the way that other Glasgow team, Celtic, has been taking all the honours that were once almost exclusively marked up to Rangers has rendered life quite intolerable for Jane. It's made all the more fanatical Rangers supporters feel that life has been hardly worth living.

However.

There are always the compensatory factors associated with fashion to take a girl’s mind off the tribulations of soccer fans. And Jane, a Glasgow secretary, is mad about clothes. She’s bought herself a midi. And she’s gone off tights and gone back to stockings.

Tights are a must with a mini. They're not with a midi.

That's going to please an awful lot of men.

"Watch it," said Jane, "the men in Scotland aren't as awful as that."

Joan Glover

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Ridiculous

There are a great many bonny girls in Scotland, all of whom catch the eye as they run for a bus, but it was quite ridiculous that secretary JOAN GLOVER should catch the eye when she wasn’t even running down the stairs.

Life is like that, not just for Joan but all of us. And because life is the way it is for all of us, life is fascinating.

Caroline Spencer

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They’re So Natural and Uninhibited

You've got to hand it to the young generation.

They're not a bit inhibited, and they're so natural they make the rest of us feel how wrong we were to accept that gooseberry bushes had another role beside that of producing gooseberries.

Look at young CAROLINE SPENCER, looking ever so uninhibited in the park. Of course, there was no one about. Just a little riot going on under the trees where fellers were duelling with each other and panting "Hop it, I saw her first."

Caroline just sat there and took no notice.

Anita Dale

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Honey Girl

A busy bee called Bertie buzzed furiously around all day—so much so that the other bees thought about reporting him to their union. "He’s flogging his wings to whiskers." they said. But Bertie cared not, neither did he cease, for he was inspired by the girl who came to the hive to see him at work. The girl was honey-blonde ANITA DALE of Earl’s Court, Kensington, and honey bees naturally buzz for honey blondes.

Girls

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Girls, have you seen Yourselves?

We sent one of our staff photographers out into Croydon and told him to bring back photographs of maxi-clad girls.

We don't think these dollies realise exactly how they look from behind in their ankle-length drapes, so we hope these shots will be a lesson to them.

Just by way of contrast our photographer also took photographs of mini-clad SUSAN DOUGLAS in the park. What the eye can see it can grieve about or delight in, and if anyone’s optics can't take in the object lesson of the contrast they must be all blurred and bloodshot.

Reaction of one maxi-clad office girl —

"Oh, that can’t be me—it makes me look like grandma, you rotter."