Ann Carol Keyes

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They Don't Make Them Like This in Tonka

Where's Tonka?

Oh, somewhere in the heart of undiscovered waters a thousand miles from the Great Barrier Reef. Nothing to do with Tonga, just a place on its own. They don't make anything there except coconut-fibre sarongs, and they aren't half itchy.

And they certainly don't make mini-skirted dollies like ANN CAROL KEYES. Ann is so photogenic, what with her dishy suspenders and all, that masculine eyeballs get sort of struck rigid. Mint-flavoured custard is the only cure. Tastes awful but what other antidote is there?

Ann, a young and healthy picture of glamour, has no impossible ambitions. She's just looking forward to having a husband, home and babies in time. Lovely.

Crystall Dawson

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The Girl Across The Way

One day a family moved into the empty house across the street from Percy, and from then on Percy spent his time peeping through his letter-box to see what he could see of the young lady there.

Her name was CRYSTALL DAWSON, and as far as Percy was concerned, she was the cutest-looking girl who’d ever lived opposite, and after five minutes he was nuts about her. Then his mother caught up with him and yanked him into the back room.

“ Aw, mum,” said Percy (who was thirteen and growing fast), “ be a sport, mum. Lemme have another dekko, mum.”

“ Percy,” said his mum, “ I have enough trouble with your father’s weakness for a pretty face. I’m not having the same trouble with you.”

Oblivious of her young admirer opposite, Crystall was getting the house in order and waiting for the rest of her clothes to arrive.

Crystall’s a typist, but would rather be a fashion model. Percy, a deadhead on careers, just thought she was a smasher.

Crystall is 5' 4", and measures 36"-24"-36". Figures to Percy just mean homework. Homework? There’s a clue there somewhere!

Tea is served and even coffee-drinkers can’t resist this!

Finally, of course, there's the afternoon must for every girl, irrespective of age or measurements — a nice cuppa.

Three lumps, please.

Stephanie Peters

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Milling Around

In the stockroom of a Manchester cotton mill the girl in charge was STEPHANIE PETERS, and blokes kept coming in to ask her to check what was in the upper bays so that they could see what she looked like in her mini on a ladder.

Such blokes were always milling around in the stockroom and Stevie, as they call her, always seemed to be up the ladder.

So, she thought she'd leave her job and get one in London. Going up and down that ladder was killing her. In London she met some photographers and became a model. Now they're all milling around her in the big city.

Who are?

A bevy of blokes with a long ladder.

Shirley Epps

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Lively Lovely

SHIRLEY EPPS is a girl who never gets that one-degree-under feeling. She feels lively and looks lovely all year round. Unlike us—we rarely feel lively and never look lovely. Most times we feel horrible and look even worse.

We must admit, however, that meeting a girl like Shirley never fails to make us feel on top of the world. It’s that supersonic brightness she radiates.

At the moment, Shirley’s working hard as a waitress and saving hard for the fare to Corsica, where she intends to live and work for a year or so. Those lucky Corsicans!

Kim Scott

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Flying Swinger

Air stewardess KIM SCOTT is what you call a flying swinger. She's up, up and away week after week from London Airport, and all her passengers consider her the most swinging stewardess they ever clapped their international eyes on.

Kim lives in Middlesex and in between her flights comes down to earth to enjoy the peace and quiet of life.

She says that's what a girl needs to do after flying all over the place, otherwise you can fall apart.

Kim with her long legs is still a devotee of the mini and if you can think of anything which would make her look lovelier when she's out shopping for antiques, keep it to yourself. It's bound to be something she couldn't wear without collecting a crowd.

Jean Belvin

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Fireside Frills

Keeping the fireside looking a lot more attractive than if she weren’t there is dark-eyed JEAN BELVIN.

The usual fireside adornment, apart from the tongs and the toasting fork, is a fat cat or a plump Pekinese. While we’re not prepared to make an issue of this with animal-lovers, the preference most people would have would favour Jean, and the cat would have to make do inside the coal-scuttle.

Removal of the plump Pekinese might be a little more difficult. You might even get bitten. But if you want to make room for an adornment as pretty as Jean muzzle the pup before you grab him.

In case you didn’t know, Jean is a receptionist who looks extremely chic in frilly black nylon. We know there's no connection, but we just thought we’d mention it. Ambition is to be a model pin-up!

Jean figures that her measurements of 36"-24"-36" keep her looking slick—and they don't give her any worry about what not to eat.

Dawn Grayson

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Please Write

When DAWN GRAYSON realises her ambition of doing some modelling overseas, we do hope she’ll write.

You can wave goodbye to some girls and it doesn’t matter if they write or not. They’re not all as beautiful as Dawn. They don’t make you bite your nails half as much as Dawn does.

Leave us if you must, darling, but please write. Otherwise we’ll fall into a saucepan of hot cocoa.

Brigitte Jelinek

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Invite Us Over

We have our moments when it's not all light and joy, you know. We too have to clean the car and fill up cracks in the ceiling. We too are sitting on the bomb. Ah, poor old people of the seventies, wondering if they'll live to be ninety.

At such moments, we think about the scintillating conversational gambits of BRIGITTE JELINEK, who has the most entertaining way of starting a really cracking argument about the lost tribes of Asia. We never knew any of them ever got lost.

Anyway, in moments of gloom Brigitte couldn't do more for us than invite us over so that we could become intensely involved in a discussion on who actually shot the arrow which laid poor old Harold low at Hastings.

There's nothing so enlivening as a fluent chat with someone as delightful as Miss Jelinek.

Angela Bond

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Its Lovely in Kent

Well, it’s lovely at the time of the year when ANGELA BOND of Devon is visiting in her wire wheeled chariot of fiery red.

It’s even more lovely when you realise Angela is just the girl you’d like to get lost in an orchard with. If you’re fond of apples Angela will fill a barrel for you.

The barrel has to have the right shape of 37-24-36.

Friends

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That’s What Friends Are For

You expect your boss to capitalise on your endeavor and your wife to read any confidential mail you get from Paris.

You don't expect anything except high pressure from insurance salesmen or stabs in the back from business acquaintances.

What makes it all worthwhile is the kindness you get from friends.

That’s what friends are for. To rally around and be kind when you most need them.

For example, when glamorous fashion model INGE PETRASCH was due to meet the most fascinating man from Hamburg her usual hairdresser was up a tall tree in the Black Forest and couldn’t get down. Nobody was aware of this except a large Black Forest wolfhound waiting slaveringly at the foot of the tree. The hound hadn’t had a hairdresser’s leg for ages and was willing to wait a week for this one.

Anyway, Inge couldn’t get fixed up in time with another hairdresser so turned to her friend, KATRIN DORMANN, who has a talent for styling woman’s crowning glory. “But of course,” said Katrin, “I will do it for you, darling. Who is your special date?” Inge told her and Katrin said,” Oh, yes, I know him from his pictures and he is truly ecstatic. Sit down, darling, and I will fix you up fine, you see.”

Eventually Inge was all in curlers and fixed up fine under the dryer with instructions from Katrin not to move until the little bell pinged.

So Inge waited and waited while Katrin, of course, dolled herself up in her most ravishing ensemble and went off to meet the most fascinating man from Hamburg, to whom she explained that Inge was unavoidably prevented from keeping the date and that she, Katrin, was standing-in. That’s what friends are for.

Susan Kane

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Frills

Slim, trim and long-legged, Susan is (we think) the epitome of just what the young man’s fancy primarily dwells upon when he is romantically considering the exhilarating effect of the spring — except that pretty girls like Susan inspire him to poetry not only in the spring but summer, autumn and winter, too.

Here she catches the eye in her frilly petticoats and her gay garters, and if she isn’t just the right advertisement for more and more frills, then who is?

Susan lives in Kent. On the coast, in fact, where she catches the eye occasionally in her check bikini.

Pretty SUSAN KANE, who wears a ribbon in her hair, is a girl with femininity-Plus. She thinks as we do—that men look right in trousers and T-shirts, and girls look more than right in skirts and frills.

Sylvia Martin

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Where’s The Moulin Rouge

Purely a rhetorical question. Everyone knows it’s in Paris. SYLVIA MARTIN is just illustrating what an absolute must she is for the front line of the Moulin Rouge Can-Can, though Sylvia’s undeviating ambition is for drama and she burns to be histrionic rather than eye-catching. She prefers Pinter to panto.

Valerie Peters

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Speaking of France

Speaking of France, secretary VALERIE PETERS was going there for a holiday this year, but what with the currency restrictions and her feeling that the General doesn’t like her, she said “Non,” to the idea in the end. She’s going to Cornwall instead so look out for her skimming the white horses on her surf board.

Laura St.John

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Three-Way Chat

Housewife LAURA ST. JOHN was on the phone ordering some groceries when some burk managed to cross the line and Laura found herself talking to the grocer and the burk at the same time.

The burk was trying to sell insurance and Laura ended up with a pound of bacon and a dozen eggs covered against dying of heart failure while in the frying-pan.

The premium was a tin of mustard a month.

Judy Ingram

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Aquability

Well, if you have the same talent for swimming and water skiing as JUDY INGRAM, it could be said that you've got aquability too. Judy on water skis, in fact, is a breath-taking eye-opener as well as being dark, tall and beautiful.