Brigitte Jelinek

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Invite Us Over

We have our moments when it's not all light and joy, you know. We too have to clean the car and fill up cracks in the ceiling. We too are sitting on the bomb. Ah, poor old people of the seventies, wondering if they'll live to be ninety.

At such moments, we think about the scintillating conversational gambits of BRIGITTE JELINEK, who has the most entertaining way of starting a really cracking argument about the lost tribes of Asia. We never knew any of them ever got lost.

Anyway, in moments of gloom Brigitte couldn't do more for us than invite us over so that we could become intensely involved in a discussion on who actually shot the arrow which laid poor old Harold low at Hastings.

There's nothing so enlivening as a fluent chat with someone as delightful as Miss Jelinek.

Angela Bond

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Its Lovely in Kent

Well, it’s lovely at the time of the year when ANGELA BOND of Devon is visiting in her wire wheeled chariot of fiery red.

It’s even more lovely when you realise Angela is just the girl you’d like to get lost in an orchard with. If you’re fond of apples Angela will fill a barrel for you.

The barrel has to have the right shape of 37-24-36.

Friends

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That’s What Friends Are For

You expect your boss to capitalise on your endeavor and your wife to read any confidential mail you get from Paris.

You don't expect anything except high pressure from insurance salesmen or stabs in the back from business acquaintances.

What makes it all worthwhile is the kindness you get from friends.

That’s what friends are for. To rally around and be kind when you most need them.

For example, when glamorous fashion model INGE PETRASCH was due to meet the most fascinating man from Hamburg her usual hairdresser was up a tall tree in the Black Forest and couldn’t get down. Nobody was aware of this except a large Black Forest wolfhound waiting slaveringly at the foot of the tree. The hound hadn’t had a hairdresser’s leg for ages and was willing to wait a week for this one.

Anyway, Inge couldn’t get fixed up in time with another hairdresser so turned to her friend, KATRIN DORMANN, who has a talent for styling woman’s crowning glory. “But of course,” said Katrin, “I will do it for you, darling. Who is your special date?” Inge told her and Katrin said,” Oh, yes, I know him from his pictures and he is truly ecstatic. Sit down, darling, and I will fix you up fine, you see.”

Eventually Inge was all in curlers and fixed up fine under the dryer with instructions from Katrin not to move until the little bell pinged.

So Inge waited and waited while Katrin, of course, dolled herself up in her most ravishing ensemble and went off to meet the most fascinating man from Hamburg, to whom she explained that Inge was unavoidably prevented from keeping the date and that she, Katrin, was standing-in. That’s what friends are for.

Susan Kane

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Frills

Slim, trim and long-legged, Susan is (we think) the epitome of just what the young man’s fancy primarily dwells upon when he is romantically considering the exhilarating effect of the spring — except that pretty girls like Susan inspire him to poetry not only in the spring but summer, autumn and winter, too.

Here she catches the eye in her frilly petticoats and her gay garters, and if she isn’t just the right advertisement for more and more frills, then who is?

Susan lives in Kent. On the coast, in fact, where she catches the eye occasionally in her check bikini.

Pretty SUSAN KANE, who wears a ribbon in her hair, is a girl with femininity-Plus. She thinks as we do—that men look right in trousers and T-shirts, and girls look more than right in skirts and frills.

Sylvia Martin

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Where’s The Moulin Rouge

Purely a rhetorical question. Everyone knows it’s in Paris. SYLVIA MARTIN is just illustrating what an absolute must she is for the front line of the Moulin Rouge Can-Can, though Sylvia’s undeviating ambition is for drama and she burns to be histrionic rather than eye-catching. She prefers Pinter to panto.

Valerie Peters

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Speaking of France

Speaking of France, secretary VALERIE PETERS was going there for a holiday this year, but what with the currency restrictions and her feeling that the General doesn’t like her, she said “Non,” to the idea in the end. She’s going to Cornwall instead so look out for her skimming the white horses on her surf board.

Laura St.John

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Three-Way Chat

Housewife LAURA ST. JOHN was on the phone ordering some groceries when some burk managed to cross the line and Laura found herself talking to the grocer and the burk at the same time.

The burk was trying to sell insurance and Laura ended up with a pound of bacon and a dozen eggs covered against dying of heart failure while in the frying-pan.

The premium was a tin of mustard a month.

Judy Ingram

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Aquability

Well, if you have the same talent for swimming and water skiing as JUDY INGRAM, it could be said that you've got aquability too. Judy on water skis, in fact, is a breath-taking eye-opener as well as being dark, tall and beautiful.

Cathy McEwan (Jane Paul)

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A Little Nostalgia

This is just for those who sigh for the early sixties, when the mini hadn't yet made us realise that brevity is the soul of haute couture.

For the sake of a little nostalgia here is CATHY McEWAN modelling those old-fashioned fashions, petticoats and all.

She got them caught up in the door later. That made for more nostalgia. Oh well, anything for a laugh and a pretty picture.

Jan Sims

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Bonny Legs?

Don't bother to answer that question. We’ll take it as read. It’s obviously a foregone conclusion that JAN SIMS has the bonniest legs and the brightest smile.

Jan’s a tall—5' 9"—and shapely—35"-25"-37"— brunette from Glasgow. If you think she’s a professional model, you’re wrong. She’s an ‘Hello-girl’, and modelling is just a hobby. (Is that so? Then what’s she doing with legs like these?)

Preferably, of course, we’d like to have her at this end, but we'd probably have to fight an awful lot of Scots to get her over the border. They’re all mad about this kind of number themselves.

Helen Milligan, Anne Scott, Dawn Grayson, Julie Lane and Jane McKay

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Cold Weather Girls

Long Johns are a must for girls who feel the cold weather, such as HELEN MILLIGAN, ANNE SCOTT, DAWN GRAYSON, JULIE LANE, and JANE McKAY.

Joanne Martin

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How To Be Vitally Interesting

It's fun being married. JOANNE MARTIN says you needn't take too much notice of those odd people who tell you it's kaput, she says they don't know what it's all about, they're too busy going in and out of foggy hallucinations.

To be vitally interesting to your husband, says Joanne, you need first of all to look lovely to come home to, so that when he comes into the kitchen to see what's cooking he can't help thinking he'd like to eat you yourself.

Joanne, with her long, honey-blonde hair and her undeniable curves, is indeed a dish. She makes marriage lots and lots of fun, and sometimes in the evenings the television isn't an absolute social necessity at all.

Remember, says Joanne, that when hubby says, "Let's switch this rubbish off and play poker," you've proved you know how to be vitally interesting.

Then what?

"Then you need good cards, "says Joanne, "or you're in for a yell of a time "

Helen Stewart

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It Makes a Change

Usually housewife HELEN STEWART doesn't have time to join her husband on his angling trips. There's too much to do at home and it takes hours, apparently, to catch more than a tiddler.

Helen lives in Ayrshire, but it's not true the fish are underdeveloped there. They're just craftier, that's all.

Anyway, Helen found time to join hubby one afternoon. It was a nice change for an hour, but after that it got a bit trying. Hubby seemed quite happy sitting around catching nothing, but Helen thought things would perk up somewhat if she went for a brisk walk.

It perked up for us when she met our photographer on the way, and Helen had fun doing some pin-ups. The fish popped up to see who owned those lovely legs and hubby suddenly found his float in the middle of plenty. So, he had a perky day too.

Anne Scott

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Giving a Shine to Winter

If we had to pick any girl to give a shine to winter we wouldn't go far wrong in choosing ANNE SCOTT of Ayrshire.

That well-known smile can do more for chilly goosepimples than a run round the gasworks, especially when it's on show on a crisp and wintry day. Anne has long been one of our own exclusive glamour girls and still her fans write to beg for more.

They like Anne's aptitude for putting over a frilly look just as much as her smile. It’s something they miss out on in these days of jeans.

Angela

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Decorative Architect

Architecture as a profession is not closed to the fair sex, and if you thought it was its time our ANGELA gave you reason to re-orientate your thinking. Our Angela knows a blue-print when she sees one.

Angela can not only apply herself practically to architecture, she can also get down to the job of blowing up the fire as gracefully as any full-time housewife, and certainly looks a lot better at it than we do.