Diane Clarke

/

Bargain Buy

A secretary has to dress well, you know. In the old days, they used to make do with hairpins, hatpins, cuffed blouses and stiff skirts. Not just on one day, but every day. The boss was never distracted from his work but he often got slightly depressed.

It’s different today. Secretary DIANE CLARKE, going along with the modem tradition that secretaries should look elegant and glamorous, spends most of her money on clothes and when there’s a bargain buy in the offing at one of her favourite stores, she’s right there to sort out something breathtakingly exciting.

Little muted cries of delight, muffled gasps of exaltation. “Oh, that’s a dream, and that’s an enchantment and if I don’t look simply scintillating in the coffee-cream I’ll never look anything in anything.”

Yes, but don’t stand about, darling, get home early tomorrow before they shut.

“What, when they’re sold out? Wouldn’t dream of it. Look, you go and get me a flask of hot coffee and some smoked salmon sandwiches and I’ll stay here and be first in the queue for tomorrow morning.”

Girls are mad, aren’t they?

Cherry Lennox

/

Student in a Cold Climate

It wasn't half rough. The wind was whistling and cutting little old ladies in half, practically.

Student CHERRY LENNOX of Edinburgh was caught in the teeth of it, as it were. Och, what a wee howling gale. Took her kilt right off. In the nick of time, as it were, she found shelter in an old Scottish roundhouse, whatever that is. Probably similar to a Kentish hophouse.

Anyway, it served to keep the worst of the chilly breezes at bay for Cherry. And while she was able to hold on to her Scottish rainproof she felt she could endure all else, as it were. Even the loss of her kilt.

Whipped off by a quirk of the whistling wind, it was, and went sailing over heather and burn, it did. Never mind, there's always a silver lining. It just showed how perfectly intriguing Cherry's patterned stockings were.

On a day when whistling wind equals student sans kilt in a cold climate, things aren't wholly miserable. And if Cherry can laugh about it, so can you.

Dawn Williams

/

Dawn Rose Rather Late

With a modelling appointment for half-past ten in the morning at Portsmouth, it was unfortunate for DAWN WILLIAMS that the mechanics of her wonky alarm clock broke down during the night. Dawn rose rather late.

The photographer, however, was ever so decent. As they couldn't make Portsmouth in time he said how about stopping off near Guildford and doing some lovely countryside shots instead, and Dawn said she couldn't think of anything more rapturous.

It was hard luck on the Portsmouth naval types, however. They'd have appreciated seeing Dawn around.

Bridget Kildare

/

Sitting Pretty

Sitting very pretty indeed is BRIDGET KILDARE, girl with very distinctive eye appeal in her black boots and brief mini.

Bridget makes a lovely secretary and if you know a more enchanting blonde to go with a desk and a typewriter you must be really living.

At five feet five with vital statistics of 36-23-36, Bridget must just about be everybody's idea of the perfect picture for the camera you had for Christmas.

Adrienne Houston

/

You Look Delightful

What I can’t understand (said elegant beautician ADRIENNE HOUSTON to her friend, Maggie) is that every time I go out to look my best for SPICK, I seem to get as involved as a cross-country runner and how my nylons and frillies survive it all is a miracle.

Miss Houston, worry not, you look delightful.

Dagmar Keller

/

Searching Look

"Please, may I look through your files?" asked DAGMAR KELLER of the basement library clerk.

"How can I say no?" replied the clerk faintly. "The only thing is I'm dead mortified I can't stay and help, only it's me lunch break and I've got a chick to share me hardboiled eggs with."

Off he went. It was hot and stuffy, so Dagmar shed a few things and with a fascinating searching look went in discovery of something we're a bit vague about ourselves.

It was all part of her secretarial duties.

The boss rang down from the sixth floor and said don't take all day. Miss Dagmar. He asked her if she wanted any assistance.

"No thanks, I'm not dressed for it”  said Dagmar blushingly.

"What's she talking about?" muttered the boss as he hung up.

This file was interesting. It was all about a consignment of desert island concubines who got seasick on the way back to Palmtree Paradise.

Search over. Dagmar cooling off. 

In came the library clerk full of hardboiled eggs to fall flat on his face.

So, would anyone.

Pinky Sands

/

Perky Pinky

This is another fairy story.

No matter how much television plays seek to befuddle you into believing there’s no such thing as a happy ending and that life for everybody is a lot of old boots, the fact is nice things do happen to people.

Princes and fairy queens and old harpies on broomsticks don’t play such impressive parts as they used to, but nevertheless, take the story off PINKY SANDS.

There she was, sitting home most nights and wondering what to do about life. Nothing fantastic ever seemed to happen and she couldn’t find a great deal of glamour in her typewriter, especially when it came to changing the ribbon.

Then a man who was photographing the bridesmaids at a wedding saw her looking long-legged and lovely among the guests and said, taking his eye off the bridesmaids so that they came out with their heads cut off, “You look like you ought to be a model, go and apply to an agency.”

So Pinky did just that and the agency said what a willowy wonder she was, and now Pinky rents a cosy little flat in town and is long-leggedly engaged in the glamour world of modelling. No wonder she’s perky.

Trudi Jackson

/

Pretty Personal

A most photogenic asset to the office is TRUDI JACKSON, who works in Bournemouth. She is the personal secretary of a high-class businessman there, and, yes, he does know how lucky he is.

Whenever another businessman calls, he makes Trudi hide herself, because he has a kind of quivering certainty that friends and rivals alike would not hesitate to grab this deliciously efficient wonder girl for themselves. Trudi is an absolute dream of efficiency at every secretarial chore, and when you add all that to her sex appeal, you've got yourself an asset indispensable to the sweet flow of business life.

Susanne Ferrier

/

Susanne

If you're looking for someone nice to have around the home, you could consider wooing Scottish dolly SUSANNE FERRIER.

Susanne is a dream girl when it comes to being lovely to look at and useful to know. Not only is she bonny and bouncy, she's a naturally inventive and accomplished cook. And you do like your food, don't you?

"Well, yes, I do rather," said the first feller to knock, "and am I to take it that Miss Ferrier is eligible?"

Eligible for what?

"For taking home to meet mother and then to the altar."

You'll be lucky. She's already engaged. She's got a lovely feller and he's six feet tall.

"Oh, well, count me out, but I thought I'd ask."

Of course. We did say wooing Susanne could be considered. It just can't come to anything, that's all.

Sara James

/

See You At The Circus

It was Frank on the phone. SARA JAMES, Kensington dolly bird, was trying to sell him off the idea of becoming an elephant trainer. She thought he was too eligible to spend all his time with elephants.

"Okay, "said Frank, "listen. I'll try the trapeze, I often feel like flying about after a day selling insurance."

"No, don't do that," said Sara, "you'll only fall off."

"Tell you what," said Frank, "if I do fall off I'll pack it up and we’ll do a safari from London to Istanbul, how about that?"

"Lovely," said Sara.

"Agreed,” said Frank, "see you at the circus, then."

So, they met at the circus and the management let Frank try his trapeze potential. He fell off as soon as he got on. He was still dizzy when they went off on safari to Istanbul and after a whole day's travelling they were still going around Piccadilly Circus.

Sara got off at midnight and went to a club with Nigel.

A girl can only stand so much.

Anne Duke

/

Going Off Bingo

Percy Blake and his wife Dolores were fanatical about bingo, they never missed a session at the village hall. And, bingo, they regularly came up for a couple of quid here and a couple of quid there.

Then a lovely and absolutely delightful girl came to live nearby, the sort any man just can't ignore. Percy went all agog the first time he saw her, and from then on, he was hardly ever out of a kind of trance-like goggle-ment.

You couldn’t blame him. The girl was ANNE DUKE, a Welsh beauty queen, with vitalistics of 36'-23'-36", and Dolores had never looked anything like that.

So, Percy went off bingo. He sat on his front doorstep waiting for Anne to walk by. Dolores didn’t go off bingo. She still went. And she continued to coin the bingo lolly and Percy continued to goggle. It was always a real pleasure to see Anne walk by. He didn’t ever try to date her. Well, what good is it when she’s twenty and he‘s eighty-four?

Jane Dixon

/

Luck of the Irish

They play that hurling game in Ireland. Everything flies about.

"Did that one hurt, Paddy?" asks O'Reilly.

"Me ears is still ringing, yer dirty scoundrel."

"Hard luck, me boyo."

Well, hard luck is what you get in that kind of game. But there are compensations, all to do with how things look after the game.

They look lovely. Ireland is full of colleens.

Here's one of them. JANE DIXON. Many a Paddy will walk ten miles to call on her and still be full of blarney when he arrives. Men of other nations could only ask hoarsely for water.

Jane, of course, recognises blarney as soon as she hears it. Many a Paddy, calling with a bunch of flowers and an invitation to the horse show, has had his foot caught excruciatingly in the door as Jane closes it.

"Oh, me foot!"

"Does it hurt, Paddy?" calls Jane through the mail-box.

"Like the devil himself, me darling."

"Hard luck, me boyo."

Even in Ireland you can't win them all.

Lisa Linette

/

Cute Canuck

Girls all over the world are cute simply because they’re born that way, and you naturally allow for a few unholy errors or terrors. High in the rankings appertaining to those who are the cutest come the Canadian girls. Living as they do in that great, wild, untamed, pine scented, maple endowed land of forests and lakes, they’ve got something you can’t get in the atmosphere of the Mersey Tunnel, say.

There's LISA LINETTE, for instance.

Lisa is a dancer from Vancouver and besides being cuter is also much more fascinating than any of those engagingly playful bears that pop out at you from trees all over Canada. No, the Canadian bears are darlings, really, and breathtakingly huggable, but show us any grizzly who looks as cute as Lisa when doing up its garter, and we still wouldn’t believe you.

Lisa will be over in Europe in 1965, where she’ll dance her way round the old-fashioned capitals, and if you want to know what sort of shape to look for Lisa comes very curvily in a size of 36"-22"-36". Oh, and if you want to make any kind of a hit with her, remember that her hobbies are golf, ice-skating and music.

Julie Marsden

/

Cross-Country Charmer

You wouldn’t think this trim, slim charmer was a cross-country champ, would you—or would you? Her name is JULIE MARSDEN and she’s won any number of trophies running miles and miles over the countryside in all weathers, without looking anything but engagingly feminine. In fact, Julie is very feminine and when she isn’t in her track suit she likes to wear all the frills that the ultra-feminine girls do wear.

We caught up with Julie when she was out surveying the route for one more cross-country run. She was picking her way over the roughest ground and looking delightfully leggy about it. It was a sure way of proving with our camera that our girl athletes don’t look like Amazons but just like the pretty girls next door.

Sally Randall

/

She Can also Dance

It’s a fact that SALLY RANDALL not only looks absolutely delightful in black lingerie, and that she can not only cook, she can also dance.

Sally, it happens, is a dancer of no mean merit. We accept that information with pleasure. We’ll settle anytime that’s convenient for the cooking.