For the guys who don’t think they’ve had a meal unless there’s been a steak on the plate we recommend eating at a high-class restaurant in London. With any luck you’ll find yourself being waited on by MARY CONNOR. When Mary isn’t serving porter house steaks she’s taking long walks in the country. Any guy want to go in training?
It’s regrettable to turn up at the wrong party and unfortunate if you kiss the wrong girl, but these things do happen and all you need to lightly pass them off is the right amount of aplomb. Aplomb is the ability to laugh lightly as the muscular bloke punches a hole in your head after catching you pinching his heart’s desire in a crowded discotheque. Then there’s that feeling of something quite silly happening to you as when you lean gracefully on the mantelpiece and the whole thing, including the marble clock, crashes into the fireplace.
Or like CHERRY LENNOX, university student, you can be strolling through the rural scene with your mind concentrating hard on your economics paper, and something really silly happens.
“Well, I mean,’’ said Cherry, “I wasn’t even doing anything and then swish, this twiggy thing sprang out and tried to use my skirt as an umbrella and it wasn’t even raining.”
“I didn’t know what to say except ‘oops’. I just felt silly. I mean, supposing it had been on the campus? I don’t know what I’d have done for aplomb, it’s not one of my subjects.”
“I fell over a skipping-rope once, but this is just too silly.”
This is nothing to do with people who’ve got wanderlust and kick around the world in restless pursuit of they know not what.
This is to do with local kicking around. To kick around it’s wiser to wear boots, then you can kick footballs, brown-paper parcels and bandits who try to snatch your bag in the supermarket.
Our lovely MARILYN WARD has just bought a pair. She bought them for their geary, modern look. She had no thought of using them to boot footballs into the air. Still, When she saw one in the garden she had a go. How did she get on?
“I missed it,” said Marilyn, “and fell flat on my back.”
As sparkling as clear champagne is CRYSTAL FARMER, secretary and glamour girl.
It's a pity fellers can't win beautiful brides like Crystal in a decent competition, where if you can think of a suitable slogan for hot chestnuts, and send it in with three coupons, you stand a fair chance of winning.
Of course, you can't put birds in a lottery, it would send Women's Libbers raving bonkers— and cross as well—but if you could and if you did, who'd bother about football pools?
No one, if they stood a chance of winning a bride as gorgeously set-up as our Crystal.
No, it wasn't that HELENE GIBBS was taken with a desire to get away from the pressures of London life. She's doing very well as a model, thank you, and is enjoying herself.
It just happened that when she was modelling stockings and suspenders in an outdoor location, some entranced cowboy from Texas became riveted.
"Well, I ain't seen a better looking filly since Thanksgiving," he said to the cameraman, "I reckon I'd trade a ranch for her to come home and cook for me."
"Do me a favour, eh ?" said the cameraman. "Shove off, eh?"
Texas swiped him with his stetson. He was that keen not to have any interruptions. Seeing how keen he was Helene got lost in the undergrowth, getting away from the prospects of slaving over a hot stove in Texas.
"I don't even like cooking," she said to a gooseberry bush.
Young and golden secretary ANN WILLIAMS was on a Highland fling, staying in a cottage with a view of a wide, green glen.
She was getting lots of fresh air and making friends with Highland steers. There was one called Angus. Solid as a house he was and as gentle as a baby calf as long as you didn't ride a motorbike all over his pasture. Ann wanted to take him home with her.
So she rang her mother. Her mother said well, you'll have to keep him in the garden, they couldn't possibly have him indoors. So she went out and measured the garden and Ann went out and measured Angus.
Then they returned to the phone and compared measurements and found that Angus was twice as big as the garden.
So Ann brought home a mini-kilt instead.
Working in a London florists, GILLIAN YATES represents 1975 flower power at its most irresistible.
It's easy to walk into her shop to buy a modest bouquet for your girlfriend, and it's even easier to stay there talking about hothouse carnations, the artistic delights of flower arrangement and what an exquisite arrangement it would be if Gillian shared a bus ride with you on Sundays.
But it's not so easy to ignore the biffs in the back you get from the waiting customers. Try to grin and bear it, Fred.
There might be a tendency these days for many women to favour trouser suits around the house, and if there is then there's a definite tendency among many men to think rude things about trouser suit designers.
Trousers for women shouldn't go beyond peekaboo pants worn by those Eastern beauties who adorn sultans' palaces.
Thank goodness housewife JOANNE MARTIN still believes women look their most feminine in exquisite lingerie. Joanne herself looks a treat in black underwear. How lovely to come home to hot soup, treacle pudding and Joanne.
"Not, I hope, in that order," said Joanne.
No, of course not.
The old maxim that an apple a day keeps the doctor away is based on common sense and has no connection with those stories that old wives tell each other.
But what happens if you want to keep fit, healthy and vital and you don't like apples?
Quite simple. If you're already fit, healthy and vital you take regular rambles out-of-doors. You combine the intake of fresh air with the pursuit of exercise, disdaining the temptation to walk around obstacles and leaping light-footedly over them instead. Rather in the way that ROSANNE STUART does—and who do you know who looks fitter, healthier and more vital than Miss Stuart?
Rosanne, secretary to a Scottish industrial tycoon, also looks so lovely amid all that outdoor boscage that we asked her not so much what made her fit as what made her so beautiful.
“I keep on eating apples," said Rosanne.
An absolute dolly of a girl is MICHELLE DOLAN, who lives in Bradford, Yorkshire. Goes around with sparks in her eyes, lighting up like the Aurora Borealis at ail the funny things of life.
She's nineteen, measures 37-21-34 and works as a window-dresser. That's kind of Creative. She also likes to do a spot of modelling in her spare time. That's kind of artistic. Well, it is to us. We asked her what her favourite hobby was.
“Boyfriends” said Michelle.
Berkshire is a county noted for its woods and hills and meadows, and you can have the dreamiest picnic there.
You can take your notebook and your binoculars and register all the different birds you spot. You don't need to be a dedicated naturist, you just need to have an ordinary human appreciation of that which delights the eye.
If you happen to spot SUZANNE GLOVER in her own bowery Berkshire retreat, it's going to be the most fortuitous day of your life, because you'll never see any other bird you'll appreciate more.
Suzanne is twenty, a natural blonde with blue eyes and vitalistics of 37-24-36. She can make a picnic look like an open-air banquet, the cheese sandwiches turn into caviar savouries and the cold tea into champagne.
They can work themselves into frenzies trying to wrap the dollies in maxi-skirts, but they won’t get any help from us.
Nor from JACKI OWEN, except in the line of duty.
Jacki is a fashion model and all right, maybe she does have to glide down the catwalk all covered up in a maxi, but she hasn’t bought one for herself yet.
Perhaps, says Jacki, it’s all right for the skinny ones who look better with their legs covered up, but I’m not skinny and I think I’ve got rather nice legs, don’t you?
Divine is a better word.
Thank you. Well, then, says Jackie, what would you do?
We’d keep making life a lovely eyeful for our fellow-men.
Oh, go on, says Jackie, I’m not as inspiring as that.
You are to us, you gorgeous thing.
Okay, so you like your girlfriend to be quiet, dreamy and aesthetic, so that she can earn a mountain of lolly as a professor of philosophy. Then when you get married you can stay at home with your feet up. Sounds just like being dead.
Ever thought about clueing up with a swinger, have you? The difference it can make to your life is staggering. Suddenly you're living, you've got a go-go girl and all is joyful music and cool discotheques.
JOY BAMFORTH of Yorkshire is a go-go girl. At seventeen life never stops, it's a whizz, a caper and a delight. Mini-skirts are made for legs and boots for dancing. A go-go girl like Joy is an inspiration but you'll never keep up with her if you're over thirty.
If you're over thirty you get headaches.
It doesn't matter all that much where they are, if they aren’t with us now they will be any moment. They've got a habit of not leaving us alone for too long, and since SUSAN DOUGLAS is well aware of this, she’s gotten herself self well equipped to cope with them.
Apropos the wind and the rain, of course. Susan is just the girl we wouldn’t mind being cast adrift with in a boat to the fair isles of sunshine and coconuts and nobody else.
If you like shopping with your girlfriend, particularly when she’s after a bargain in a boutique, you can get very good service in the boutique run by MARILYN WARD.
Ask for the manageress and Marilyn will appear. You’ll be so captivated that five minutes later your girlfriend will slosh you and say, “In case you’ve forgotten, Romeo, you’re with me.”
