Sarah Cunningham

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Comfort For The Computer

The computer in the head office of the bank in London lost its nut at seven-thirty one morning. By the time its fairest operator, SARAH CUNNINGHAM, had arrived punctually at nine it sounded as if it was in the last throes of mechanitis tremulus, which is computerised Latin for the chronic shakes.

"Now, now," said Sarah, giving it a pat "stop clanking, you silly thing. Let's see exactly what's wrong with you.

And she fed it a relevant medical question. Out came the answer in a kind of fed-up frenzy.

"Where's me breakfast?"

It was the absent-minded night watchman again; he'd forgotten to feed the computer. So, Sarah, who picked up a lot of common sense as well as maths and French at college, fed it a lovely meal of machine oil and iron filings and the comforted computer happily got down to work on overdrafts.

Spick No 242 - January 1974

Susan Fairfax and Lynda Farrell

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Its Only A Game

It was going to be a jolly game of outdoor shuttlecock and all that lark. Engaged in this sporty venture were SUSAN FAIRFAX, left, and LYNDA FARRELL.

Immediately prior to the opening rally they crossed rackets, and tallyho, they were away in a fencing match, prodding each other with subtle pokes of the round end of the rackets.

"Mind my eye," cried Susan.

"Mind your eye my foot," cried Lynda, "mind my suspenders, you mean." "Voila," cried Susan, scoring a prod.

"Sacre bleu," cried Lynda, "there goes a new stocking."

The rackets clashed and the duel went on.

"How's that for a crafty one?" said Susan.

"You're tripping me, " yelled Lynda.

"Don't worry, "said Susan, "it's only a game."

It might be only a game, but poor Lynda landed with a distinct thud and at the finish there were not only bruises but a state of general disarray. Oh well, girls will be girls.

Stevie

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Come On, Stevie

There used to be a very popular jockey called Steve, who rode many a winner home to the cries of "Come on, Steve!" Speaking of that, we had a proper let-down on the Warwick card in February, the jockey got there all right, but the horse didn't. When we hopefully mentioned it to our bookie, he said oh, what an interesting case, fancy that now, well you don't say - geddoutovit. And so on. They're not nearly as kind-hearted as they look, that fraternity. Still, they do have their children to think of the same as anyone else.

We're not backing anymore gee-gees. We're putting our shirt on STEVIE. Well, she can't possibly go to the races like she is now, not without stopping everything on the course.

Stevie is an absolutely delightful lass from Yorkshire, who stands 5' 7" in her nyloned feet and presents proud statistics of 39"-24"-37", which is why she's sensational in a bikini and just the girl we'd most like to be first past the post with.

Span No 140 - April 1966

Ingrid Stengert

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Berlin Swinger

Swinging it very vivaciously in West Berlin is INGRID STENGERT, who has in the last year or so landed herself some highly exciting film parts. Not so long ago she was still knocking on the casting door, more in hope than expectation. Then it all happened at once and now she's starring in one Continental epic after another, and taking her clothes off in most of them because that's how Continental epics are these days.

Here she is doing some exuberant pirouettes after capturing the starring part in a story based on twin sisters who fall in love with the same man. Ingrid plays both sisters. What a lovely double act.

Beautiful Britons No 232 - March 1975

Susan Douglas

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Consistency

Currently way up in the top ten of pin-up favourites is Kentish charmer SUSAN DOUGLAS, so consistent in her elegant appeal that she never looks anything but delightful.

Some may come and some may go but Susan is on the list of those who appeal yesterday, today, and tomorrow. Well, let's face it. Girls like Susan would stop the traffic even in a Martian get-up.

Well, so they would, of course.

Ever see a sports shirt that looked better than this one? You can buy one in any top-class store (men's sportswear) but you won't look like this in it.

Susan has recently been modelling Spring fashions for a well-known house, and any moment she'll be lined up for the parade of summer wear. As we write, there's snow on our boots.

But the thought of Susan and summer and this view of that smile - well, who's making any fuss about snow-logged boots? Only our feet.

Span No 102 - May 1962

Elizabeth Jackson

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Beauty Queen

Bright and bonny blonde who has just figured in a national beauty contest in London is ELIZABETH JACKSON.

Liz figured very well, too, making second place and being only the curl of an eyelash behind the winner.

That makes us real tickled to present lovely Liz to our readers, especially as on most other occasions she's been voted way out in front.

Being a naturally glamorous gal, Liz just as naturally sports black lingerie, and there's nothing we can say about how cute she looks in it that you probably haven't already thought of yourselves.

There's every prospect of seeing Liz play the lead in beauty contests up and down the country this summer, so keep your telescope to your sound eye whenever you get her in focus.

Liz is eighteen, measures 36"-23"-36", and in a one-piece or a bikini she makes a picture no one should miss.

Beautiful Britons No 80 - June 1962

Toni Townsend

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Design For Living

Down in the leafy, bowery woodlands of Hampshire you'll often go neck-over-croppers if you don't know your fences and you're not all that attached to your horse.

Do you hunt, then?

No, do you?

Not on a horse. I say, I saw the most larky bird at Aniseeda's Discotheque last Tuesday.

Yes, and when she found out what an unutterable nit you were she stuck you on the turntable and you went round and round and round, and everyone thought you were top of the pops. Now then, down in the leafy loveliness of Hampshire, where all is just as nature made it, there dwells a lovely maiden called TONI TOWNSEND.

Cor, you talk just like Bonnie Prince Charlie going after a date with Flora. That's our Scottish ancestry. Our modern heroine is Toni, she's an advertising assistant but her real design for living is designing. She's a natural at dress design, makes all her own clothes and looks so good in them she takes our minds right off the landscape.

I daresay, but this larky bird I was telling you about. Took one look at you and screamed the place down. She thought you were something from outer space. Why did she think that? Because you look as if you've just landed and are having trouble with the oxygen.

Beautiful Britons No 154 - September 1968