Joanne Stewart

/

Oranges & Lemons

What makes a lovely girl more lovely?

What makes her more curvy as well?

Oranges and lemons, says JOANNE STEWART.

Joanne is a housewife who is also a dolly-bird of exceptional impact, this being due as much to her figure of 37-23-37 as her honey-gold hair.

What you do, she says, is this. You take one orange, peel it, dissect it, and eat it with a thin slice of dry toast. That's for breakfast, and you can have a weak cup of China tea as well, but no milk.

For lunch you have another orange, only with nuts. If you want to go mad you can finish off with a small glass of a tomato juice.

For dinner you can have two oranges, and if you must have something hot to go with them try half a haddock. For afters you can have two dates but no custard.

But the lemons, Joanne, you haven't mentioned them. Don't you have a lemon or two in between?

A lemon, says Joanne, is someone who believes all this. Honestly, some housewives with this sense of humour can't half make you feel a fool.

Nina Swallow

/

Charm

Somewhere around Ealing in West London, there's a lot of charm walking about, and you can include NINA SWALLOW in that category. Walking around the shops and stores Nina adds up to a curvy eyecatcher and is in fact resident model for a firm of coat manufacturers. Her current ambition, naturally, is to become a top free-lance fashion model and if the charm of good looks counts at all, Nina can't miss.

Span No 176 - April 1969

Joyce Flaws

/

Curvy Scot

All Scots girls are bonny, of course, and this makes them naturally curvy. Included among curvy Scots you mustn't miss when you're photographing natural beauties up in the Highlands is Secretary JOYCE FLAWS, nineteen years old with vitalistics of 37-24-37.

Beautiful Britons No 166 - September 1969

Mrs Smith

/

Mrs Smith

Nicola Sieff

/

You Win

The fact is, if your name is NICOLA SIEFF and you look spectacularly curvy you can't lose. In other words, you've no chance of being a wallflower, and if your aim in life is to be proposed to you've no problem. Since Nicola hit London town last year a score of the nicest chaps have wanted to marry her, but Nicola says it's not for her until she's 25.

Span No 134 - October 1965

Amber Jackson

/

Cover Colour

Making our cover look very colourful this month is AMBER JACKSON, one of our latest lovelies.

Amber is willowy and gorgeous, and when she's not adding glamour and elegance to the London scene she's probably in Paris or Rome, trying to look over the fashion trends there while fending off ardent Latins who want to get to know her better.

"Honestly," she said when she arrived back on one occasion, "you daren't even smile or you get carried off to meet someone's mother with a view to being approved as a bride. Well, I hope as a bride, but you can never tell with those Continentals."

You're right, love. Some of them just have no principles.

Spick No 246 - May 1974

Antonie Merly and Renate Kleeman

/

Concentrate

It's not always easy to concentrate when getting out of a car. You have your mind on your shopping, but not your legs, and before you can say “Bother it,” you've got a run in your nylons. Still, if you look as pretty as ANTONIE MERLY when you're fixing the run it's quite a consolation. And if you look as fetching as RENATE KLEEMAN when you're perched on the bonnet you can go to anyone's head. Antonie and Renate are both from West Germany.

Span No 134 - October 1965

Cathy Winslow

/

Glamour In Law

When Mr. Bakewell Pursglove shot into the solicitor's office he was in a frenzy of irritation and very loud of voice.

“I want me rights, I want protection,” he roared, "that blue-bottomed monkey from next door has eaten all me flaming raspberries again."

'Oh, how distressing," said a soft, calm voice, “please take a seat, sir, and I’ll see if our Mr. Henry is free.”

The next thing Mr. Bakewell Pursglove knew was that a vision of warm-eyed enchantment was guiding him into a chair.

"Who are you?" he asked faintly.

The vision introduced herself as CATHY WINSLOW, an invaluable asset in any solicitor's office.

"Well never mind Mr. Henry or whatever his name is," said the infatuated Bakewell, "you'll do for me, darling. It's this perishing jungle creature they keep next door. Every year it sneaks over the fence and eats all me juiciest raspberries. Now what I want done.” And he went on about some kind of complicated civil action and in between managed to invite Cathy round to see his cucumber plants.

In return Cathy managed to pass him over to the senior partner and Bakewell wondered where all the enchantment of the place had gone.

Spick No 211 - June 1971