Jackie Bolam and Janet Payne

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Northumberland

Northumbria was once an ancient and independent kingdom. Now it’s just the county of Northumberland.

But it still has its rivers and lakes and hills and dales and its hardy people and its flora and fauna.

It also has its blondes and its brunettes. The Northumbrian men are sort of tickled about that. Typical of the blondes who make the place look well worth a long stay for lovers of natural beauty is JACKIE BOLAM. Jackie is nineteen and measures 35-22-34. She’s a typist who likes best of all to browse around among the Northumbrian antique shops. That’s a change from spending all day Saturday listening to the Beatles.

And, we also have another typically fascinating Northumbrian brunette, JANET PAYNE. Janet is twenty-two. She likes swimming, she loves dancing and she’s dead keen on driving fast cars. She works in a departmental store and her statistics measure up to 36-24-36.

Fred let’s go up to Northumbria for the weekend.

Okay, said Fred, I’ll bring the wife too.

Let’s stay home, Fred.

Uta Levka

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Made For Walking

They’re not just for show, after all. They’re not just to catch the eye. As the top pop disc illustrated, boots are made for walking.

Wearing this here pair is UTA LEVKA, as Continental as gateau or langouste. Black Boots, black mac and white stockings may have originated in King’s Road, Chelsea, but Uta thinks they’re just right in the Place de la Concorde. We asked her how many miles a day she walked in them their boots.

At which Uta raised her Continental eyebrows and said she used taxis to take her wherever she wanted to go. Otherwise, she said, her feet began to hurt.

Laura St.John

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Go Chase The Fox

The Madwick Hunt was in full cry after the red fox. The hounds swept by, followed by the riders.

No one took any notice of LAURA ST. JOHN except about ten men, most of whom nearly fell off their horses as they pulled up in stunned delight. But up popped a good-looking sailor who had either lost his ship or didn't know where the sea was.

“I saw her first," he said to the horsemen, "you lot go chase the fox, he went that way."

They all raised their headgear politely and went on their way, and the sailor had a chat with lovely Laura and then showed her over his ship, which he remembered he'd left lying around in Portsmouth Harbour. But Laura couldn't stay for a sailor's supper as she had to get home to hubby.

Laura is twenty three and is curvily tailored at 36-23-36. She fits a polka-dot bikini beautifully.

She doesn't look bad in a mini, either, does she? Her favourite sport is swimming. She lives on the South Coast and during the summer months takes full advantage of the sea.

Barbara Harrison

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How To Remain Lovely If Harassed

You wouldn't believe it but it's true. This young-looking brunette with the shapely legs and enchanting figure is another of those incredible mums you see pushing the pram and doing the shopping.

Very incredible is BARBARA HARRISON. She's a Yorkshire beauty, a housewife and the mother of four bonny children. No doubt about it, you can be harassed by four children, to say nothing of dad, but Barbara just lets it all pass her by and remains patient, good-tempered and lovely.

Her figure currently is 37-24-36. How about that, eh? Good on you, mum.

Anne Dawes

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Not Enough To Go Round

Efficient secretaries who are also a dream to look at don't grow on trees, you know. In these days of booming business and walloping great office blocks, there aren't enough of them to go round.

One lucky boss is counting his blessings. His secretary is ANNE DAWES, blue-eyed golden girl. Anne is twenty-two, five feet five and symmetrically vitalistic at 36-23-36. With her in competent charge of things the boss could go off and play golf every day. But he never does.

You wouldn't, either, would you?

Patricia Charles

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Groovy Housewife

People who prefer bedding down under the railway arches or rusticating in Bloomsbury turn their noses up at suburban dwellers.

However, that doesn't make suburban dwellers less photogenic than freak-outs, and here's a housewife from the southern suburbs of London to prove it.

PATRICIA CHARLES is no humdrum cabbage, she's cute, vital and groovy.

To start with her measurements, add up to 36-23-36 and that's lovely and vital. And if any non-conforming freak-out can look as photogenic as this when answering the phone, we've been scandalously misinformed by all the relevant media.

Crystal Farmer

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Puss In Boots

If you saw CRYSTAL FARMER go by in her lace-up boots you'd think she was better than a Christmas pantomime.

Crystal was out in the country on this occasion and country boys were doing a lot of goggling. Most of the really dynamic birds inhabit the towns these days and country boys feel a bit deprived. Once upon a time they had rosy-cheeked milkmaids to chat up over the churns, but now the cows are all plugged in to vibrating electricity. Next it'll all be done by computers, and if the cows kick and the nuts and bolts go flying, serve the boffins right.

Crystal likes the country. She's one of nature's birds. Make a lovely milkmaid, she would.

"Oh, those good old days," said Clara.

Who's Clara?

Just a nostalgic cow we know.

Judi Batty

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Brevity

The beauty of many things is in their brevity, like wit and April showers. And like the mini, especially the mini worn by Kent girl JUDI BATTY.

One thing the mini has done for sure is to convince us that British girls have lovely legs and if they ever try to cover them up again, well organise a protest march that’ll stretch from here to Blackpool Tower.

Erica Mannheim

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Bavarian Bird

Bavaria is where the Alps rear their soaring heads of ice-cold blue and sparkling white.

The girls who live in the mountain villages have a fair and entrancing beauty that induces the most dedicated mountain climbers to spend only a fraction of time scaling the impossible heights. It's sort of more engaging to stay down in the villages and chat up the fair maidens.

A very fair and entrancing maiden is ERICA MANNHEIM, representative in this day and age of all that is delicious about the dolly birds of Bavaria. She's not just a pretty face and a cooker of apple strudel, she's been in films and danced in the capitals of Europe.

When she was at college, Erika wanted to be an air hostess, but an agent changed her mind for her. She took a film test and stayed on the ground.

Lovely.

Anna Clare (Diane Clarke)

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Something Missing?

Yes, something has gone astray. It's only a skirt. There was very little of it, just a brief mini.

Even so, ANNA CLARE did miss it. This Middlesex girl didn't feel she could catch her country bus home unless she found it. People would look. Be surprising if they didn't.

Anyway, Anna looked quite delightful as she moved around the woods in search of her skirt. She found it up a tree in the end.

Tina Reynolds

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Gamesmanship

We're not sure if that's the right word to use where TINA REYNOLDS is concerned.

What about girlsmanship? Or gamesgirlship?

We'll ask the Libbers, they can only chuck a loaded milk churn at us.

But the fact is, Tina's an absolute wizard at badminton and table tennis. You want to see her move. Well, you don't, really. That's the trouble.

When you're watching her moving you forget what else is happening and before you can say, "Never mind about the game, what about you and me going to Frascati's for a candlelit supper?" the shuttlecock has plonked itself in your eye.

That's gamesmanship right enough. Getting you to watch her instead of the shuttlecock so that she can beat the living daylights out of you.

Never mind, it's a blissful way to go.

Jennie Jones

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Our Miss Jones

Making a name for herself in the glamour girl orbit is JENNIE JONES, who lives south of the river in London and is contriving, merely by looking her naturally delicious self, to have even the most sophisticated photographers breathe deeply.

Steamed-up view-finders result.

Jennie is eighteen and has the immaculate look of a girl who has attended a modelling school and listened diligently to the principal. She moves with petite grace and her make-up is perfect.

She likes horse-riding. Watch out for her in Hyde Park, cantering down Rotten Row. The name of her horse is Pegasus.

Greta Berry

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How's Your Filing System?

If you're suffering from a surfeit of monumental ineptitude on the part of the erk who looks after your filing system, try giving him or her a monumental talking to.

It probably won't do any good as he or she is almost certain to be only there for the money. It's better to make a clean break before the whole office assumes the look of a paper mill in eruption.

"That's it, then, Perkins my girl, you can take a week's notice from today".

"Oh sir, but why?"

"Because you're useless, girl, useless."

"What d’you want for twelve pounds a week, then, a computer?"

It's shriekingly unbearable when they're not only useless but saucy as well. Your best bet is to look around for someone like GRETA BERRY. Greta is a lovely office clerk who brings efficiency to the scene, to say nothing of charm. She's a twenty-year-old dolly with the longest, loveliest legs that get her around the office like a flowing dream.

Annette Carter (Crystal Farmer)

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My Word

The man with the rent book looked up as the door opened and tenant ANNETTE CARTER appeared.

“My word” said the fascinated rent collector.

“Oh, help” blushed Annette, a secretary and a doll.

"What a charming hat," said he.

"I thought you were Christabel," gasped Annette, "I'm not dressed to receive anyone else." And she retreated rapidly, trying to hide herself behind the curtain, but it was much too short.

"I'll come back later, shall I?" said the rent collector.

"Well, don't let's argue about it," said Annette, looking delicious in the palest pink knicks, "that would suit me fine."

And when he came back later, she pushed the rent under the door and he didn't even get another look at her hat.