Crystal Farmer

Holiday Romance

When she's out in the sun CRYSTAL FARMER is a real shiner. Next to a romantic midnight-blue sky complete with silver moon, the sun is Crystal's favourite element.

Off to Europe soon, for a summer holiday wander. Crystal is taking a girlfriend in order to outnumber any Latin Romeo who tries to surround her.

Not that she objects to a holiday romance. Just that she likes to get to know a nice feller first and can't stand those who, fat and forty, think they're irresistible to Anglo-Saxon femmes.

And being surrounded by someone fat and forty isn't Crystal's idea of a light-hearted romance.

Leslie Langham

The Problem of a Mini

I'm LESLIE LANGHAM.

I live in North London, it’s rather super there and some of the boys are awfully good at Whistling. I suppose they’re training to be football referees. I have a most interesting job. I’m a demonstrator of office equipment. That’s where I find a mini-skirt has its problems. Whenever I’m demonstrating a desk with self-locking keyholes, I seem to be all legs. I’m always saying, “Oh, pardon me,’’ and adjusting my skirt, but everyone is awfully sweet and office managers never seem to mind a bit.

I have to be with it, of course. I can’t not wear a mini, it would be an unbearable drag to dress in trousers, but sometimes I’m not sure if office managers are paying proper attention to my demonstration of an electric typewriter.

It’s very flattering, I must say.

Mrs Burley

Kitchen Capers

(or - Don’t Shoot The Cook, She’s Too Beautiful)

When Mr. Burley, a keen amateur photographer, who hails from Brixton, London, sent us some photographs of his lovely wife, we were so impressed by the discrimination he showed in picking a girl like this to wed, that we sent our own photographer along to provide additional evidence.

We didn’t arrive at the best time. Well, it wasn’t the best time for blonde and beautiful Mrs. Burley, who was choring in the kitchen—no girl likes to be caught in her apron— but it didn’t take us long to realise that there’s no time like the present, and could the lady have looked any lovelier without her apron, anyway? A moot point, that, and one on which we will not linger.

Mrs. Burley, do you always dress in this cute outfit when you’re working in the kitchen—or is it that we just caught you on the wrong day?

Well, no-well, yes—well, I like to look glamorous in my kitchen, particularly on Wednesdays, which are half days, of course.

But today is Thursday—

Is it? Oh, well excuse me a moment while I lift Mrs. Beeton off the biscuit tin.

No, but really, Mrs. Burley — hold that a moment — you really are the cutest kitchen maid we’ve seen in years.

Well, thanks. For that you can stay and have some coffee, if you like.

Would you like to sit on your kitchen table, Mrs. Burley? With pleasure—but may I ask what for?

Because it's always been a crazy idea of ours that there are so many things which photograph better on a kitchen table than cups, saucers and toast-racks, and now we see you there we know it wasn’t such a crazy idea at that.

Well, we finally went away with the feeling that we’d shot off a lot of very attractive photographs, and it wasn’t until we’d gone about five miles in the trolley-bus that we realised we'd left Mrs. Burley to do the washing-up by herself. Never mind. She did it all with such a sweet smile.

Jackie Ross

Trendy Traveller

It was a long way from Manchester to London when salesgirl JACKIE ROSS set out for the big city. Well, it's a long way from anywhere when you have to walk. Passing the railway station Jackie thought she'd do it the easy way, so she bought a ticket and caught a train.

She met an awfully nice feller on the train. He shared a packet of biscuits with her. But when he said that his wife didn't understand him Jackie knew there was only one thing to tell him.

"I'm not surprised," she said, "you're all over biscuits crumbs."

Jackie came to London to find work as a model. She hardly needed to look because enterprising photographers found her first. Naturally, who could miss such a beautiful brunette with a figure of 38-24-37

Irene Oberzig

Tres Tricky

There was once a feller called Buck Upp who tried to drink a quart of beer out of a Christmas balloon but it blew up in his unprepared kisser and squirted light ale all down the neck of his hunting shirt.

There was also the girl in the skirt and Hungarian petticoats who said “I bet I can squeeze through a small hoop feet first in five seconds.” And she did but it took a lot longer than five seconds and she didn’t half look pretty.

People like to try things the tricky way, it’s a bit of a gamble that we all enjoy. For instance, the trickiest place in which to change a pair of nylons is the driving seat of a car. West Berlin fraulein, IRENE OBERZIG, tried it and proved it.

She could have gone into her office and used the powder room and changed in comfort, but no, in the tradition of Buck Upp and the man who tried to lasso an elephant with his braces, Irene used the front seat of her car. Oh well, they will do it.

What made her fall down afterwards?

It was all that cramp.

Helen Jones

Awake, You Trojans

There's a modern Helen waiting for the Trojans to carry her off.

She's HELEN JONES.

She made a revelationary impact at the last motor show. Helen of Troy herself couldn't have been more revelationary.

A London model with her eyes on a film career, Helen was delighted when they gave her a part in the film 'Love Variations'. She made an impact in that too. She lives in North London, she's twenty-one and unlike other swinging birds who like fast sports cars, Helen likes walking.

Walking is safer. Accompanying boyfriends can't run out of petrol on a ramble.

"But you can run out of steam," said one feller, "crikey, she can walk your legs right off."

Jenny Price

What Lovely Lines

We’re so confused by JENNY PRICE, whose enchantment flows lyrically over us, that we can’t follow the lines of her car. Jenny, who has just about the nicest legs in Wales, can confuse the most clear-minded car fanatic.

Adrienne Houston

Beautician

22-year-old ADRIENNE HOUSTON is a beautician and fills the first requisite of her job by being beautiful herself. If you feel your girlfriend isn’t making the most of her charm, send her along to Adrienne and she will emerge from the salon so ravishing that you’ll think she’s really much too good for you. Then where do you go from there?

Adrienne’s own charm lies not in her countenance alone, for she has beautiful legs and a trim figure that measures 35-22-35.

Kitty Armstrong

Kitty, Kitty

A very curvaceous secretary is KITTY ARMSTRONG of Oxford, and if you think she gets whistled at by the students on her way to work each day, then you think dead right.

Knowing her name, some of them call, "Kitty, Kitty," and make purring noises. Kitty doesn't mind that. As long as they don't spring, she says, they can purr all they like. She's delightfully vivacious and oh what a shape. It adds up to 38-24-37, and every inch goes so well with her height of five feet seven.

No wonder the students purr.

And having seen Kitty for ourselves we had to tell her we thought one of them is bound to spring eventually. Then what?

"Oh, I scratch him to pieces and bite his head off," said Kitty, "because when I get sprang at I'm a proper little tigress."

Kathryn Jenkins

Peace and Quiet

When shop assistant KATHRYN JENKINS takes a day off she likes to get away from the noise and the bustle of her work. The customers love Kathryn, of course, especially the young men who, even if they don’t want to buy anything, pop in to ask her the time.

In the peace and quiet of the countryside around her home town, Coventry, Kathryn can listen to nothing noisier than the swish of the sickle and the buzz of the bees. The occasional farmer’s boy might come along and say “Well, Oi’ll be struck dumb,” but so might anyone spotting Kathryn with her lovely legs and her figure of 38-22-36.

Sandra McPherson

Skirts Are Short This Year!

Girl going shopping in her short short skirt is SANDRA McPHERSON, the pride of Bonny Scotland.

If you trip up on the way down, you can't say it was because your feet got tangled up in the skirt!

Be like Sandra. Having regained controlled equilibrium, look as if you regard the whole thing with nonchalant indifference.

You will then arrive at the door looking like a well-dressed futuristic shopper of 19??

Julia Wendon

Student of Medicine

Still studying hard at college is Yorkshire girl JULIA WENDON, and she's after a degree in medicine.

In between putting her nose to the academic grindstone of medicine, Julia engages in all the pursuits that keep a girl fit, like tennis, netball and squash — Squash?

Not your kind of squash, Harold. And then she also goes in for pursuits that keep a girl happy, like beauty competitions and dancing and glamour modelling.

Tell her that keeps me happy too.

Push off to Hastings, Harold, and get yourself one in the eye.

Jill Summers

How Do They Look To You?

Irish model JILL SUMMERS has a lovely negligee and a beautiful perm, but currently she’s concentrating on the effect of her new black nylons. Jill thinks they make quite a contrast to her white frills—but how do they look to you? No postcards, please—just whistles.

Jill Millward

On Another Day

On another day JILL MILLWARD was a showgirl. The footlights shone in her eyes every night and struck glitter into her beads and bangles. Clink went the bangles and pop went the beads. “Oh blow,” Jill would murmur, “there goes another one, they don’t sew them on like they used to.”

Then overnight Jill gave it all up. She put away her beads and bangles, her ostrich feathers and her ambition to play the lead in a fabulous musical. She became a children’s nurse.

But she still looks lovely and glam when she’s off duty.