Janus
/Janus - Mixed Selection
Janus V1 No 8
More familiar faces, but can you name them?
Jackie West
/Unchained
When lovely Reading girl JACKIE WEST got married, she thought it was going to be all kitchens, sinks and hot ovens. Being utterly in love she thought she'd take the rough with the smooth, like, but after being carried over the threshold and put into the best armchair she heard him say,
"Now you just stay there while I put the kettle on.”
What a prize feller. Jackie felt unchained at once. The fact is hubby is very mod and likes being in the kitchen as much as she does.
Who wouldn't, with Jackie there?
Carol Montgomery
/Where's My Tea?
"Yes, where's my tea?" said Jim.
There was always a cup of tea for him as soon as he got home in the evenings. There wasn't one on this occasion. There wasn't any wife, either.
CAROL MONTGOMERY, an utterly fetching housewife, had had her first modelling assignment, and got so wrapped up in the glamour of it that she forgot all about hurtling home on her moped to make tea for Jim.
Carol lives in Suffolk, which is full of old-world charm and other lovely housewives just like her.
When she did get back home, she gave Jim two cups. Well, he'd been a sport, he'd peeled the potatoes.
That's how to stay married, that is.
Span No 234 - 1974
Maria Steiwer
/Something For a Rainy Day
Young secretary from Munich is MARIA STEIWER, and she's just treated herself to something for a rainy day.
A lush, smooth, shiny leather coat.
Now you'll all want one. In one like Maria’s, you won't be able to wait for a rainy day. But don't fall over yourselves, girls, queue up nice and orderly. The first one to scratch someone else's eyes out will be drummed off the pavement.
Beautiful Britons No 207 - February 1973
Julia Seymour
/Musical Secretary
Very fond of music is Secretary JULIA SEYMOUR, an absolutely delicious bird who lives near Blackpool.
While others go out at night to try ice cream in the dark or a glide at the Palais, Julia cuddles up in an armchair and reads music and studies sonatas. Still being a devotee of slinky stockings and the necessary suspensory equipment, Julia can relax without worrying about who's looking.
"I'm here," said the cameraman.
"Well, don't look," said Julia, "just take nice shots of me being musical."
"Oh, righty-ho,' said Percival, "and I'd just like to say my wife has got a pair which match yours."
"Mine?" said Julia.
"Your knicks."
"You sneaky dick,' said Julia, "you are looking."
"Only in me view-finder," said Percival.
Spick No 260 - July 1975
Janus
/Janus - Mixed Selection
Janus - Vol 1 No 9
More familiar faces, but can you name them?
Carol Leslie
/Old-Fashioned Girl
It's not so much the way CAROL LESLIE does her shorthand-typing, it's the way she looks when she's relaxing. Still, the old-fashioned look on some girls can be awfully cute. There was Mary Tomkins in her lace pantaloons and ribboned hair at the fete last month, and when she came down the helter-skelter, she looked delicious. A bit like Scarlet O' Hara.
Carol likes her old-fashioned look.
Well, it's no problem to us.
All girls are different. That's what makes it all so complex. You bow to one girl and kiss her hand and she thinks you're round the twist. But she says, "Oh, how gallant, Major Tuttley." You bow to another one and kiss her hand. She thinks you're round the twist too and says so. She says, "Here, give over or they'll lock me away as well."
It's all a matter of individuals.
Spick No 204 - November 1970
Rachael Collins
/Rachael and the Birdman
Brown eyes and chestnut hair look lovely on any bird, particularly RACHAEL COLLINS.
And in conjunction with a curvy chassis of 36-23-36 what a pretty picture all over, like. The birdman tapped on the window. A birdman is a goggle-eyed follower of pretty pictures,
"Can I come in?" he said.
"You can get lost," said Rachael, "and if you don’t, I'll call my mum, she's a karate chopper."
"It's cold out here,' said the birdman, wiping the frost off the window to get a better goggle.
"Well, hard luck, you big stiff," said Rachael, and opening the window she clouted him with a marble vase and knocked him cold. He was a literal big stiff in minutes and when the dustmen came along, they collected him up and shovelled him into the chute.
Maureen Stocks
/Tops Vs. Tights
Entering the current contest in which old-fashioned stockings are trying to make comeback and tights are fighting a rear-guard action is MAUREEN STOCKS.
Well, when it comes to illustrating what an impact a really decent stocking top can make in the contest, you can't miss with Maureen as the model.
On the other hand, Maureen isn't always around your way. Never mind, ask your girlfriend to participate. If she's a confirmed tights wearer, talk to her in a roaring voice.
Janus
/Janus - Mixed Selection
Janus Volume 1 No 12
More familiar faces, but can you name them?
Jutta Fischer
/On or Off ?
West Berlin salesgirl JUTTA FISCHER had a new pair of ski pants, but wasn't sure that they didn't look better off than on.
They were a bit tight, you know,
Ski pants are supposed to be.
"Not so tight," said Jutta, "that I can't get them on without six friends to help me.'
And after all, with vitalistics of 36-23-35, Jutta is hardly a great big Wagnerian walloper. She's as trim as they come.
So, she sold the pants to her twelve-year-old cousin Hermione.
Span No 234 - February 1974
Greta Berry
/Bright Light On A Dark Night
It was lovely and warm in the country that night, and if only there had been a moon instead of an inky sky, GRETA BERRY would have been lit up in the most romantic way.
"However," said Perce, the camera man from the big city, "as there isn't a moon I'll use my flash.”
"Oh, don't mind me," said Greta, who couldn't get the zip of her coat done up, "just go ahead, naturally."
"Willingly," said Perce, and there was a click and a flash, and then Greta was a bright light on a dark night.
By day she's an office girl, and if we're concentrating lately on bringing you different features on her it's only to keep you happy.
Beautiful Britons No 188 - July 1971
Laurie Sands
/Surburban Fantasia
Suburban fantasia are all those fairy stories featuring what a dull old lot we are. If you believe them and you live in suburbia yourself, you probably feel like going out and shooting yourself on the front lawn.
Take no notice. The people who write those stories think you're only living if you dwell under a railway arch and leave all your litter about.
Well, look at LAURA SANDS.
She's a suburbanite but does she strike you as a dull old lot? She's a housewife, she's a happy mum and she's our idea of what a womanly woman should look like.
Curves are always more exciting than straight lines.
Beautiful Britons No 205 - December 1972
Jennifer Taylor
/The Way You Are
Now this is as it should be. This is a girl being herself, gorgeously feminine. This is a girl dissociating herself from all that other jazz.
It's our latest pin-up favourite, JENNIFER TAYLOR, who is absolutely certain that to be heavyweight boxing champion of the world is only for gorillas and suchlike. Jennifer is our idea of curvy perfection, and the girl we'd love to climb trees with. It's the easiest thing in the world to get all caught up in a tree and not be able to get down again until the fire brigade arrives. How absolutely thrilling.
Jennifer has begun to enter beauty competitions and you could be looking at a future Miss United Kingdom. On the other hand, if we had our way, we'd carry her off to a desert island and teach her how to make Christmas pudding out of coconuts.
You're crackers," said Jennifer.
Martina Evans
/Mixed Up Martina
It all began with nothing but good intentions. MARTINA EVANS, sales- girl in the lingerie department of a London store, decided to do mum a good turn and put the cleaner over the carpet.
But before she could say, "Someone come and help me switch this thing off, it's getting recalcitrant," the long lead got all mixed up with her long legs.
From then on it was chaos.
At first Martina was determined not to be beaten, and a rare old struggle ensued. Martina was grounded like an all-in wrestler who'd slipped in a moment of over-confidence. The cleaner whirred and Martina went bump.
It wasn't the bump that mattered so much, it was the indignity. Climbing to her feet Martina thought right, monkey, you wait only for the cleaner to throw her again with a double-ankle knee-lock.
"Well," panted Martina, nineteen and with an ambition to be an air hostess, "you saucy old carpet- cleaner, you."
No more. That's your lot.
Beautiful Britons No 188 - July 1971