Teri Alexander

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How Delightful

She took a course of social psychology last winter and she’s got eyes the colour of the deep green sea, and what with that and the fact that she doesn’t half know how to make the most of a crepe suzette, she’s naturally the girl we’d most like to be psychological with.

Her name, as if that mattered, is TERI ALEXANDER and we’ve fallen down four flights of stairs for girls only half as good-looking. It’s all part of the process of living. If you’re not susceptible to the witchery of women you shouldn’t be here. It hurts, of course, but the dreams are delightful.

Before she joined a fashion, house Teri worked as a secretary. She used to live in Manchester. Now she lives in London.

Swingy, isn’t she?

Who wants to join the Bengal Lancers these days?

Rosanne Stuart

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In A Scottish Garden

Frustrated geography, what you miss being on the wrong side of the border.

All that lovely Scottish heather and all those bonny birds are not the daily delight of those whose eyes are bounded by Portobello Road. As you dally on the kerbside looking for a bargain in old Victoriana, how you must wish you were in a Scottish garden with ROSANNE STUART.

If you don’t wish that, then old Victoriana has got a neurotic hold on you and you'll only cure yourself by butting sandbags. Wait until it leaves off and then give yourself another twenty-four hours to clear your head of ringing noises.

You’re cured. You begin to think of a Scottish garden adorned by sweet Rosanne.

Soon you can think of nothing else. You’re all neurotic again.

You return to that heap of sandbags.

Life for people with complexes is all butt.

Jo Fowler

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It Had To Happen

It always does. Happily humming to herself, JO FOWLER set about finding a place for a picture in her husband's new residence in France, where he now works. You can see what happened. It always does.

Leslie Langham

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The Problem of a Mini

I'm LESLIE LANGHAM.

I live in North London, it’s rather super there and some of the boys are awfully good at Whistling. I suppose they’re training to be football referees. I have a most interesting job. I’m a demonstrator of office equipment. That’s where I find a mini-skirt has its problems. Whenever I’m demonstrating a desk with self-locking keyholes, I seem to be all legs. I’m always saying, “Oh, pardon me,’’ and adjusting my skirt, but everyone is awfully sweet and office managers never seem to mind a bit.

I have to be with it, of course. I can’t not wear a mini, it would be an unbearable drag to dress in trousers, but sometimes I’m not sure if office managers are paying proper attention to my demonstration of an electric typewriter.

It’s very flattering, I must say.

Irene Oberzig

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Tres Tricky

There was once a feller called Buck Upp who tried to drink a quart of beer out of a Christmas balloon but it blew up in his unprepared kisser and squirted light ale all down the neck of his hunting shirt.

There was also the girl in the skirt and Hungarian petticoats who said “I bet I can squeeze through a small hoop feet first in five seconds.” And she did but it took a lot longer than five seconds and she didn’t half look pretty.

People like to try things the tricky way, it’s a bit of a gamble that we all enjoy. For instance, the trickiest place in which to change a pair of nylons is the driving seat of a car. West Berlin fraulein, IRENE OBERZIG, tried it and proved it.

She could have gone into her office and used the powder room and changed in comfort, but no, in the tradition of Buck Upp and the man who tried to lasso an elephant with his braces, Irene used the front seat of her car. Oh well, they will do it.

What made her fall down afterwards?

It was all that cramp.

Jenny Price

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What Lovely Lines

We’re so confused by JENNY PRICE, whose enchantment flows lyrically over us, that we can’t follow the lines of her car. Jenny, who has just about the nicest legs in Wales, can confuse the most clear-minded car fanatic.

Adrienne Houston

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Beautician

22-year-old ADRIENNE HOUSTON is a beautician and fills the first requisite of her job by being beautiful herself. If you feel your girlfriend isn’t making the most of her charm, send her along to Adrienne and she will emerge from the salon so ravishing that you’ll think she’s really much too good for you. Then where do you go from there?

Adrienne’s own charm lies not in her countenance alone, for she has beautiful legs and a trim figure that measures 35-22-35.

Kathryn Jenkins

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Peace and Quiet

When shop assistant KATHRYN JENKINS takes a day off she likes to get away from the noise and the bustle of her work. The customers love Kathryn, of course, especially the young men who, even if they don’t want to buy anything, pop in to ask her the time.

In the peace and quiet of the countryside around her home town, Coventry, Kathryn can listen to nothing noisier than the swish of the sickle and the buzz of the bees. The occasional farmer’s boy might come along and say “Well, Oi’ll be struck dumb,” but so might anyone spotting Kathryn with her lovely legs and her figure of 38-22-36.

Sandra McPherson

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Skirts Are Short This Year!

Girl going shopping in her short short skirt is SANDRA McPHERSON, the pride of Bonny Scotland.

If you trip up on the way down, you can't say it was because your feet got tangled up in the skirt!

Be like Sandra. Having regained controlled equilibrium, look as if you regard the whole thing with nonchalant indifference.

You will then arrive at the door looking like a well-dressed futuristic shopper of 19??

Jill Summers

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How Do They Look To You?

Irish model JILL SUMMERS has a lovely negligee and a beautiful perm, but currently she’s concentrating on the effect of her new black nylons. Jill thinks they make quite a contrast to her white frills—but how do they look to you? No postcards, please—just whistles.

Pamela Johnson

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Reflective Mood

Fashion model PAMELA JOHNSON, elegantly poised at 5' 6", is in a reflective mood as she eyes herself in the mirror, but her problem isn't the same as yours or ours. She’s bothered about whether to spend two months on the Riviera or three months on the Adriatic. The difference in the time period is governed by economics, it being cheaper on the Adriatic.

But all those marvellous Mediterranean dishes . . .?

Med dishes we like. You’re delicious too, Pam.

Roswita Mavermann

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Let Yourself Go

It’s not every day you see a girl on a bicycle. Once upon a time many a pretty poppet flashed by on her two-wheeler, creating as pretty a picture of graceful movement as you could wish for.

Not these days. These days a girl on a bike is almost a rarity. They’ve all got their cars, from sporty runabouts to incredibly expensive limousines.

So, naturally, when we saw ROSWITA MAVERMANN, a delightful secretarial type, on a gleaming two-wheeler, we stopped to drink in the nostalgic atmosphere of the view.

I wish you’d go away,” said Roswita, “I can’t learn to ride while you‘re there.”

“Why can’t you?”

“Because you’re looking,” said Roswita.

“Go on, let yourself go.”

“Certainly not,” said Roswita, “I might fall off.”

Nina Barrett

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What a Find!

We didn't know how lucky we were the day we lost our train. We had to take a bus instead and who should drop a box of preserved fruits at our feet just as we were about to board the platform was a striking example of photogenic sex appeal from Newcastle.

As well as our train, we lost our bus. Still, we did get offered a preserved fruit. It took our appetite away a bit as we don't eat between meals.

Her name was NINA BARRETT. She moved to London three years ago to work as a secretary and is now doing modelling. She has fascinating green eyes, a fluent flow of scintillating conversation and a way of convincing one that there are other things in life besides money.

When we've got plenty, we'll go and get convinced all over again.

For your records, Nina is 5ft 2”, dynamically blonde and measure 36"-22"-35".

Lorna Morrell

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It’s Not Cricket

When you think of Yorkshire you think of how they can’t half play cricket up there.

You think of the wham of bat clouting ball and the cry of agony as ball suddenly clouts a forgetful batsman. A forgetful batsman is an old silly— anyone who can’t remember to duck when there’s a bouncer on its way comes into that category.

Well, then, that’s what you think of when you think of Yorkshire. You certainly wouldn’t imagine that they’ve got a bricklayer up there who’s better with a trowel than she is with a bat.

Fact, though. LORNA MORRELL from Queensbury, near Bradford, can lay a brick better than you can lay a fiver on a hundred-to-one cert. She also collects antiques. And she’s got just the right kind of legs to make a miniskirt look gorgeous.

Still, it just wouldn’t be cricket to produce a photograph of lovely Lorna and say “Look, there’s a Yorkshire bricklayer.’’ The surprise would be equivalent to what you get for being an old silly when there’s a bouncer on its way.